#Would enjoy it more if I was awake for it
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producedbysohyun · 3 days ago
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Cuddling
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Squid game x reader hcs
Summary: How the people in squid games would cuddle you (separate)
Includes: Thanos, In-ho, Se-mi, Dae-ho, Myung-gi, Jun-ho, Hyun-ju, Mi-na (non!squid game au)
Warnings: might be slightly suggestive at some points.
masterlist
a/n: I love writing these so much! I hope you guys enjoy them as much as I do!!
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Thanos
Get ready to be crushed
Lays on-top of you
And does not let you get up for anything
“Let me get up for a second I-“
“No.”
While laying on-top of you he takes the opportunity to kiss your neck or chest
If you do end up getting up he whines until you lay back down
Type of Bf to use your butt or thighs as a pillow 😔✊
Randomly bites you
Has cute aggression 100%
Very deep sleeper
Moves so much in his sleep so if you guys fall asleep cuddling at least one of you is gonna be upside down when you wake up
Will give you pda anytime anywhere he does not care
I’m literally Dr. Seuss
In-ho
Not very big on cuddling
He tolerates it for you tho 😚
Even tho cuddling isn’t really his thing he LOVES when you sit on his lap
Especially when you’re facing him
Also likes when you lay on his chest
Literally just lets you cling to him and do whatever
Acts like he doesn’t care for it but we all know the truth
When he’s tired he just completely lets his guard down
That will probably be the only time he initiates cuddling
Other wise you’re kinda on your own 
Se-mi
Loves laying on your chest !!
Gives you neck kisses when she’s the big spoon 😏
Also a biter
Likes to have you on her lap
Touches your tummy while cuddling
you cannot stop her 😡
Clingiest Gf you can have !!
Takes every opportunity to hug you from behind and just stays like that for as long as possible
When you lay on her chest she likes to play with your hair
Another deep sleeper
Girl will not wake up for anything
If you are in bed with her you better be ready to never leave the bed again once she gets her hands on you
“Babe I need to get up”
“Five more minutessss”
Dae-ho
Most cuddly person ever
Big spoon !!
not so secretly likes being small spoon sometimes
Either rests his head on-top of yours or in your neck
If you guys fall asleep like that expect not to be getting up at all
Literally has a death grip on you
Lays his head on your thighs or chest pt.2
Will fall asleep immediately if you start playing with his hair 🙁
HATES sleeping without you
The lightest sleeper ever
If you softly shake him awake he will either have a dramatic mom reaction or he’ll just be confused asf
My babbyyyyyy
Myung-gi
Struggles to sleep if you aren’t next to him
Religiously the big spoon
He likes to put his hands up your shirt while cuddling and his excuse is
“My hands were cold 🙁”
“Damn right they are 😡”
Yaaaa we all know his real intentions ✊
Neck kisses pt.2 !!
Another one that uses your thighs as a pillow
Moves a lot in his sleep as well but stays holding you the whole time somehow
Loves you being on his lap pt.2
The type to rub your thighs while watching a movie or some sht😭😔🙁😭😡😔😔😡
I want him so bad
Gives you so much kisses !!
I need someone like him omg 😔
Jun-ho
Loves cuddling face to face if that makes sense 😭
Likes to hear about your day while just holding you
Listens intently and plays with your hair as you speak
He also enjoys when you lay on his chest
The weight of your body calms him down and he feels better knowing you’re safe in his arms
If he’s feeling extra vulnerable that day he’ll lay his head on your chest
Probably gets super exhausted after work sometimes so he just falls asleep the second he gets home
and when you join him in bed he immediately wraps his arms around you
Overall I don’t think he’d be to big on cuddling but he also wouldn’t mind
Hyun-ju
She’s just a big teddy bear
Especially when you’re alone with her
She isn’t too big on pda so in public she probably just sticks to holding your hand
But in private you’re getting cuddles, kisses, you name it
There will be a lot of giggling going around
Loves if you braid or play with her hair while cuddling
Lets you try out new hairstyles on her to see which one looks the prettiest 🤭
Loves when you lay on-top of her
When the both of you go to bed she HAS to be touching you
No matter if it’s holding hands or being straight up on top of eachother
Poor girl just needs you 😔
Mi-na
I feel like she wouldn’t really care for being touchy with anyone but if it’s her s/o
Sign her up !!
Definitely small spoon
She wants to be treated like a princess 😋
Puts her legs over your lap and just pouts at you till you rub them
If she’s feeling a little frisky she’ll get you to put your head on her chest and then just cling onto you
Loves giving you kisses !!
ugh I want her
Cannot fall asleep if you aren’t in bed with her
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a/n: hii! I hope you guys enjoyed thissss! (If you’ve made requests it might take awhile for me to get to them I’ve been busy lately I hope you understand!) (reqs are currently closed)
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pearlispunk · 3 days ago
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How'd that get there, Mr. Miller?
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pairing: dbf! joel miller x female reader summary: you’re sent to spend the weekend in a cabin by a lake with joel because your dad’s off to a work trip. tags: 18+ (minors please dni!), big unspecified age gap but reader’s in her twenties, DBF JOEL, smut, unprotected piv, f masturbation, m masturbation, oral (f receiving), pussy pronouns, pet names, soft! joel, daddy kink (??), praise kink, cream pie, no outbreak, no sarah word count: 2.9K
a/n: i recommend playing shades of cool by lana del rey while reading this, keep it on loop and enjoy °༄ !
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“Well? You comin’?” Joel asks, tilting his head as if to get a better look at you. He’s just asked you to come with him to spend the weekend in his cabin by a lake. “Your dad’s asked me to bring you anyway so I dun’ think you have a choice, kid.” He clicks his tongue, his palm placed by the edge of the table. 
Alright, what could go wrong? Joel’s your dad’s friend, they bonded over work– he’s a great guy. You’ve been in his place a few times, mainly ‘cause of barbecues and sports nights– he’s neat. He’s always there when you ask for help around the house or your car– he’s handy. So, what could go wrong?
“‘Right then, ‘ya should go pack up. We leave early, angel.” He says with a nod, finally walking out of the house. 
Curse your dad for leaving you for an entire weekend due to a work-related thing. Curse your dad for making you spend the weekend with Joel. 
Joel. 
Joel, the man that you ogle at every Sunday morning when he’s out mowing the lawn. Joel, the man who always hikes his sleeves up to his forearms whenever he worked on your car. Joel, the man that calls you any pet name and leaves you blushing and well.. wet.
Joel, the man that you fantasize about at night, when you’re three fingers in, mouth agape, and whining about how he would fill you up much, much better. 
Snap out of it. What were you thinking? The man’s around your dad’s age– hell, maybe even older. 
You hurry upstairs to your room, pulling out a travel bag big enough for an entire weekend. You settle it by packing one red gingham bikini– for swimming, of course. Two sun dresses, a tank top with matching shorts for sleeping, one loose polo for covering, and then a summer hat. Alright, you’re set.
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The drive was a blur. You immediately dozed off to sleep when your head hit the pillow by the car window. 4 hours later, Joel’s voice causes you to wake up, his hand placed on your shoulder– gently nudging your senses awake. “We’re here, doll.” He lets go as you stir, a small grin playing on his lips as you yawn. 
As soon as you step into the cabin, you place your things in the guest room. “Y’know, we can switch rooms. I know that mattress is a ���lil too old, feels weird on the back.” He leans by the doorframe, his hands making gestures that match his words. “I’m alright here, Joel.” I let out a chuckle, shaking my head. 
“Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn ‘ya.”
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“Need some help around the cabin?” You hum aimlessly from inside the cabin. Just then, the front door opens, his tall frame shadowing the entrance, “‘M alright, sugar. Don’t want such a pretty girl like you doing any kind’f work.” He’s shirtless. Changed into something more comfortable when you set down your things. His chest displayed beads of sweat, his arms looked rugged, and his hair was tousled into perfect curls that almost resembled a halo. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was flirting with you.
Well? Do you know any better?
The afternoon hours dragged slowly, and you were bored out of your mind. Joel was working around the cabin, breaking wood for fire and fixing a few things for his truck. He’s caught you staring a few times now, a smirk tugging on his lips whenever he did. How could you not? When he’s right there outside your window, all his glory displayed for your eyes to witness. His shorts seem unbelievably tight, seeing as how you can practically see the outline of his cock. His arms, his hands.. they were so big, big enough to have them all over your body, over your mouth as he fucks you from behind, or over your breasts as he kneads and teases your nipples. 
You backed off from the window, shaking your head as you tried to bring yourself back to reality. Sighing, you grab your bag– changing into that red gingham bikini. You let your hair down, brushing it with little care through your fingers. You reach out to the sunscreen lotion by your nightstand, applying a thin layer on your body. Think about something else, go do something else, anything else– instead of checking out your dad’s friend. 
You look at yourself in the mirror, the bikini a stark contrast to your skin. You let your hands run down your sides, your hips, your thighs, your heat. You caught your bottom lip between your teeth as your index finger reached in, slowly rubbing your clit in small circles. It slips in, and your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape, whispering his name so sweetly. 
Joel. 
Need you, Joel. 
You walk back down on your bed, laying on your back as you start fingering yourself in front of the mirror. Your other hand finds its way down your body, taking care of your clit. You add another digit, your walls clenching around your fingers. 
Ah, fuck- would’ve been much better if it was you, Joel. 
Your back arches and you squeeze your eyes shut, your thoughts lingering on the sight you beheld earlier. Your hips start to meet the rhythm of your fingers, your mouth whispering obscenities as you chase your release. You tear your eyes open, looking at yourself in the mirror. Your legs are spread, two fingers buried in your cunt, and a dazed-out expression. 
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. 
You hear the squelch of your skin combined with your essence, and you let your head fall back. Your hips stutter up as if to grind on something, on someone. You let out a whine, burying your digits in your cunt as you lay still, letting your orgasm wash over you. You catch your breath, regaining your consciousness as you let yourself melt in the bedsheets. Your eyes instantly snap open as you swear you heard the squeak of your door. Your neck cranes towards the direction of the door, seeing as it slightly creaked to the right, you knew.
He was watching you. 
Two can play this game, you decided. You took your bikini top off, putting on just the loose white polo. You left the last two buttons as it is, not bothering to cover your peeking cleavage. Bikini top in hand, you left the room. Joel was nowhere in sight, but the front door was open– letting the afternoon sun spill into the cabin. 
You walked towards his room, the door was open, but he wasn’t there. And so, you hurriedly slipped inside, dangling your bikini top right between your fingers. You place it right by the headboard, stepping back to look at it. You nod, a smile creeping on your face as you exit the room.  
It would be funny, you imagine. Him coming to find that in his room, a silent acknowledgment that you knew. Getting the Joel Miller all flustered as he sees what you’ve left for him. 
After your little adventure, you grab your summer hat and walk outside towards the lake. You reach the end of the porch, sitting on it as you let your feet sink in the water.
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About a few moments later, you decided to go back to the cabin to help yourself with some refreshments. You figured Joel was somewhere near the cabin, gathering more wood or whatnot. 
As you stepped inside, you heard muffled grunts. Your head perked up, your body slowing your steps as you approached the door to his room. 
Was he..? 
You pushed the door open, revealing Joel on the edge of the bed, his left hand stroking his cock as it leaks pre-cum. On his other hand, you can see the piece of clothing you left. The red gingham bikini top. His cock almost looks angry with the pinkish-red tip of it, and you can’t help but admire Joel’s frame. His face, contorted into a look of pure bliss. His chest, heaving laboredly with beads of sweat. His large hands, the other stroking his cock rabidly, the other clinging on to that bikini like some kind of lifeline. 
“How’d that get there, Mr. Miller?” 
Your words pry his eyes open. The grip over his cock tightening as he lets out a breathy chuckle, “How’d this-?” He holds up the piece of garment, “You really are somethin’, huh?” He stands up, tossing it aside as he backs you up against a wall. “Actin’ all innocent, like you weren’t just touching yourself and moaning my fuckin’ name.” He says the last bit in a whisper, his eyes locking with yours. “Think I don’t notice the way ‘ya look at me, angel?” He nudges the tip of his cock against your covered heat and you buck your hips up to meet it with friction. He hisses, his hands landing on your hips to make you stay in place, “You want this, baby?” He looks up at you with an earnest expression, his thumbs circling the plush of your hips as he waits for your response.
You nod, almost frantically, as you start to unbutton your garment. You’re impatient, crashing your lips on his as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. His hands fall under your thighs, pulling you up and carrying you. It’s an effortless task for him, picking you up like you’re all but a peach. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip, seeking entrance. You tilt your head to the side, your right hand tangled with his hair, the other on his cheek as you deepen the kiss and your tongue meets his. You feel his hands grope your ass, his hips grinding his cock up your clothed heat. 
You let your garment fall off your shoulders, exposing your chest to him. You pull away, resting your forehead on his as you try to catch your breath. “So beautiful, angel.” He murmurs, moving his head and latching his lips on your neck. The nickname feels so contradicting now, and though you’ve heard it so many times before, this time it just felt so… good. “So beautiful, and all for me.” He hums against your skin, leaving a trail of love bites as he sets you down on the bed. 
“Open up and show me.” Were his words as soon as you felt the soft bedsheets. You felt the rush of blood racing to your cheeks, painting you red. You squirm under his gaze, your knees touching as you look at him. 
“Now don’t get all shy on me, darlin’.” He kneels in front of you, both hands on the flesh of your thighs, urging them apart. He dips his head down, kissing your knees up to your thighs. You hesitate for a second before finally giving in, spreading your legs apart. He lets out a low whistle, fingers hooked on the sides of your bikini as he pulls it down. “She needs me,” He smirks, his fingers rubbing along your folds, “Look at that, all wet and ready for me, hm?” He looks up at you as he pushes a finger in. 
“J-Joel.” You strain.
“That ain’t my name, sweetheart.” 
“Daddy.” You sound it out, whimpering as he pushes another finger in. “‘S more like it.” He leans in, his tongue licking on your clit. He drags it out slowly, allowing himself the pleasure of properly tasting you. Two fingers from him were three from you, and right there and then you knew you were fucked.
His other hand reached up to your breasts, taking a nipple between his fingers and rolling it teasingly. You lay your back, arching against his mouth. Your hands reach out to his arm, holding on to it for dear life as he laps you up greedily. At the same time, he put his fingers to work, your walls clenching around his invading digits. 
“T-Think I’m gonna–” You squirm beneath him, hips bucking up to grind more of yourself against his mouth. He looks up at you, practically committing the sight to memory as he keeps the steady pace of his fingers and mouth. He encourages you, muffled grunts omitting from his mouth– causing vibrations to ripple through your cunt. This snaps something inside of you, and you finally let go. Your grip on his arm tightens, the heels of your feet digging into his back, a string of moans leaving your mouth as he slowly exits his fingers from your aching core.
He brings his fingers to his mouth, never letting your eye contact break as he brings it up to his lips, his tongue darting out and licking circles all over it. “Feel good, angel?” He asks softly, leaving kisses on your inner thigh down to your knees. You nod, trying to catch your breath. Your eyes widen in shock as he stood up, the tip of his cock leaking more of his pre-cum– still red with anger, with interest. It was twitching too, more so when he looked at the state of your gaping hole. 
“Think she can take me, sweetheart?” He asks with a rasp, leaning over you to rub the tip over your dripping cunt. You say nothing, your mind is too distracted by how good he feels just by rubbing the tip against you. “Figure that’s a yes, right, sweet girl?” He holds your chin, tipping it up to face him. 
There was something in your eyes, a tinge of desperation, perhaps. Whatever it was, it’s what caused Joel to snap his hips, pushing all of his length inside you. You hook one of your legs by his waist, your arms over his shoulders as you adjust to the girth of his cock. “Feel so f-full..” You mumble, looking up at him. He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips before pulling away, “Doin’ so good f’me, angel.” He pulls his cock out til the tip is what’s left inside you before slamming it back in. 
Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your back arching so far up on his body that your tits press up against his chest. He groans, his hand snaking around your back for support. He keeps an unforgivable pace, the tip of his cock reaching all the spots that make you see stars. 
You wrap your legs around his waist, your nails digging on his back as your cunt clamps down on his cock. “Drivin’ me crazy,” He pants against the side of your ear, “You take me so well, angel.” He praises, leaving open-mouthed kisses by your jaw. 
“Like y’were made for me.” He speeds up his pace, and the sound of skin slapping echoes throughout the room. His other hand reaches down to your clit, rubbing it with fervor. At this rate, you feel a knot tighten by the pit of your stomach, desperate for release. 
And just then, he pulls out. 
“Joel–” You start to whine, your cunt squeezing around nothing. You feel his hands by your waist, lifting you off the bed and flipping you over to your knees. Your mind had very little time to process what had happened before he slams his cock back into your needy cunt. “Shit- ah, d-daddy-” You slur on your words, lifting your ass up to meet his cock. “Mhm, doin’ so good for me, sweet girl.” He starts to move relentlessly, wanting you to break. 
“Look so pretty like this.” He moans lowly, fucking into you rapidly. You arch your back, pushing your ass back against him. That earns a groan from him, “Jus’ like that, angel.” He thrusts his cock, no– buries it in you, punctuating every word with the movement of his hips. 
His hands dig down on your hips, pulling you impossibly closer to him. You can feel his cock twitching inside of you, and his hips start to stutter and go out of rhythm. Your hand continues down on your clit, combining the pleasure with his cock. He holds out, wanting to feel you come undone on his cock before he fills you with his spend.
“Come on, angel.” He coaxes you, and you swear you saw heaven flash before your eyes. You moan out his name, your head collapsing on the bed as your arms give out. “Daddy–! Fuck, fuck, fuck.. Fuck!” You feel your juices gush down to your thighs, your legs trembling as he fucks you through your orgasm.  
He leans down, latching his lips on your neck and biting down on the flesh, positively leaving a mark on it as he pushes one last thrust in you. “Fuck, look at you.” He pants, burying his cock further in, flooding your walls with thick, white ropes of cum. “Milkin’ it all out,” He squeezes the flesh of your ass, pulling his cock out to reveal your stuffed pussy, a string of cum connecting you both. A gush of cum creeps its way out of your cunt, and you can feel his fingers push it back in you. 
You try to catch your breath, your mind completely fucked out as your body melts into the sheets. He lays down beside you, pulling you close til your head leans on his chest. “Such a good girl f’me, angel.” He kisses the top of your head gently, “Did so great, sweet girl.” He wraps his arms around you, his head leaning down on yours. 
Well, you got what you wanted, didn’t you? 
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red gingham divider by @issysh3ll , yellow divider by @strangergraphics ࿐ ࿔*:・゚ !
a/n: this is my first ever work, so please feel free to correct me about my mistakes T w T, i hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did writing it! i'm actually thinking of making a part 2 for this but i'm not so sure ab that, reblogs, notes, or any kind of interactions are deeply appreciated!! xo, pearl!
tags ࿐ ࿔*:・゚ @pedrostories @syd-djarin @knockk0ut @joelscowgirl @rav3n-pascal22 @joeldjarin @tokkiwrites @taeslarityy @tcmmysheiby @magpiepills @joelsrose @slowdivinqs @mssalo @il0ve-urm0m @ladybirdswritings @fuckyeahdindjarin @joeloverture @wannab-urs @amyispxnk @yxtkiwiyxt @littlcdarlin @joelscurls @goldenispunk @coquettepascal @hellishjoel @joelslastofus @punkshort @iamasaddie @almostempty @gutsby @arcanefox207 @sanarsi @pedrohub @katiexpunk
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xazse · 2 days ago
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Female!Reader × HybridPuppy!Yuji
The reader produces breast milk , which she expresses and donates to a shelter for small hybrids. HybridPuppy!Yuji often hugs her and presses himself against her chest to inhale the smell of milk, which makes his mouth water and his cock hard. In the end, he can't resist and begs his mistress to let him suck her milk. Or he sneaks into her bedroom at night and drinks her milk while she sleeps.
Instead of Yuji, you can have Satoru if you want to change the character
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Notes: I love this so fucking much, I made a few changes I hope you don’t mind and I’m using Satoru btw because I don’t write for minors.
Pairings: PuppyHybrid!Satoru x LactatingFem!Reader
Warnings: I’m sorry but I’m warning ya now this is some nasty shit but a good nasty if ur into this! + Smut + Lactation + hybrids + reader has big boobs + possessive!Satoru + perv!Satoru + porn with plot + notproofread + bathroom sex + I think I spent too much time on plot and not enough porn sorry!
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You love visiting the shelter near your house, it’s just a ten minute walk of you enjoying the scenery and speaking to the townspeople, they always greet you with the warmest smiles because they know you, they’ve known you for years.
In fact everyone here knows you: a widowed mother and wife, a mother whose children have been moved on to pursue their own hopes and dreams so in your little warm house it’s just you. You’ve noticed for a while a void in your heart, the loneliness does get to you some days but not today.
Recently a facility had been built, a hybrid facility, at first you hadn’t ever thought those existed because under new law hybrids are allowed to coexist around regular humans, they are to be treated as such it was a long time coming, it hurt your heart to see them being treated as outcasts.
You learned that this facility was for the young, abandoned and on occasion they’d take in adults who still couldn’t find their place.
And in that place you finally found your calling. for some odd reason you and your doctor couldn’t place you were still weirdly lactating, it was exhausting having sore breasts and an endless supply of milk you’d have to pour down the drain: too embarrassed to donate it in fear of being found out in the small town of people.
You awake up with full boobs that needed to be emptied or you’d spend the entire day in pain, pumping the milk was the only way, you’d only have to do it once a day but the sheer amount could keep a baby feed for the entire day.
You’d been talking to one of the workers of the facility and they’d been explaining how the young ones weren’t exactly taking well to the supplied formula milk, “they’d cry constantly” he exclaimed and it broke your heart into pieces the thought of them not eating hurts you, for the very first time you confided in the worker and he didn’t look disgusted not one bit in fact he seemed overjoyed.
“Disgusted? Why would I feel that way? This means the little ones will eat and not throw fits.” When he finishes that sentence a long drawn out sigh leaves his lips. You can’t help the giggle that falls from your lips.
Suguru you learn comes by your house to pick up the supplements and does he have some comments, he had waited a week to see how much you would produce.
“All this?!” You stand in your doorway shyly nodding in his presence, he’s actually appalled you weren’t lying when you said you have a good bit, he shakes the box in his hands and listens carefully, it’s hard for you to watch him do that right in front of you and not get a little flustered.
He thanks you graciously and makes his way back to the facility, you really hope they like it, it was one hell of a week for you. Though the feeling you did something good swarms you with warmth.
After that it was found that they absolutely loved your milk, and you had plenty to give, it was so cute the way Suguru described their reactions and how priceless it was. One little one had whined for more: Yuji was a special character he required a bit more milk since he was malnourished, Suguru couldn’t stop describing how he would not let go of the bottle, his grip was not going to let up easily, he looked so genuinely happy describing his work and how much he enjoys this field.
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You break out of your thoughts and make your way to the facility, it’s downright gorgeous garden greeting you before the glass doors, smelling so good greets you just as warmly, you open the door and offer your greetings to the staff, Suguru had told you on the phone that the little ones had been particularly needy and needed some attention, attention they couldn’t provide right at the moment so they called you: they always do.
They’re way more comfortable with you, always asking when you’re coming back and on occasion they’ll beg you to stay a little longer with them, cute little faces decorated in tears to trick you.
Right now you’re relaxing on the mat in the playroom whilst they all run around chasing after one another, Nobara: a little lion hybrid is trying her hardest to doze off on your lap, she can’t with all the loud children playing like it’s their last day ever. You slowly and softly rub her short locs to lull her, it’s working until Yuji: a tiger hybrid ever the energetic thing is crawling to come bother her.
With Megumi: a wolf hybrid, and basically his other half following right behind him quietly.
Nobara seems unphased by the tiger trying to bother her, simply shooing him away so she can get her beauty sleep, that sentence makes you giggle, you continue to watch the threes antics without saying a word, a show with no production is how they act together.
Yuji sees your hands rubbing Nobaras ears and he’s immediately making his way towards your soft fingers, basically forcing you to rub his orange striped ears, this doesn’t make Nobara happy and she tries to shove him away; whining for your attention again.
You know how they get if you aren’t showing them equal parts attention so now both of your hands are preoccupied, Megumi doesn’t seem to mind, simply sitting and watching on.
You hear his voice before you even see him, he’s definitely running through the halls disrupting the staff, he’s yelling your name so loud that you know its Satoru and how eager he is, you know how eager puppy hybrids can be.
When he pops his head into the playroom the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen, he quickly makes his way over to you ignoring the little growls the babies give him, he’s pushing them aside against your protest and laying in your lap. The grip he has around your waist allows for him to fully envelope himself in your breasts.
“Missed you’s much” he playfully whines.
“You seen me yesterday Toru.”
Satoru lets out a satisfied sigh in the warmth of your boobs, he’s become obsessed with you, and it’s bad he’s had to he reprimanded by Suguru and the other staff multiple times for his possessiveness it’s not his fault though! He can’t control how he feels about you not after that day.
It was when he was feeding Megumi, sometimes as a way to bond Suguru will have Satoru bottle feed them, though he absolutely dreads it, he has to put up with it, all the other adult hybrids are far too hard headed.
He was curious one day, about how the milk had tasted, he found out through Suguru that the formula had been changed to breast milk, it was a slip of the tongue but he himself had also noticed how they whined for more.
He unscrewed the top to the bottle, the little calm Megumi was already drifting off so he wasn’t a problem.
He took a sip, and quickly pulled away: fully expecting it to be the worst thing he’s ever tried: it’s baby food not food meant for him but that feeling on his tongue never came in fact it was actually quite good.
Another sip and another after that; he scarfed the remains of the bottle down with a flushed face, it tassted like- well he couldn’t describe it but he knew he fucking loved it. He found himself sneaking into where it was kept and taking some for himself, it was almost an everyday thing, he knew when Suguru was questioning and bothering him he had to stop but he couldn’t, until he met the source of where the milk was coming from.
He snuggles his face deeper, ignoring and zoning out the loud noises around him, he can smell the milk on your breasts, you recently pumped? Probably this morning to be exact as and all he can think about is how you sat there for hours getting rid of the awful feeling in your sore breasts.
You feel something hard against your leg, you know how Satoru feels about you but this is too much. You’ve already had to tell him in the past that he’s much too young for you and would be better off finding someone who can fit his needs, he insists that he only wants you and doesn’t care about the age difference.
You have yet to bring up these feelings to Suguru though, you can’t bring yourself to say because what if Satoru won’t trust you anymore, it was hard building trust with the man due to his past experiences.
He’s only getting more excited by the minute, his tail moving in slow languid motions.
The way he’s looking up at you is filled with nothing but love and lust, you know that look too well.
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You aren’t sure why you’re in a bathroom stall with Toru whilst he feels you up, caressing your boobs, every attempt to tell him to stop dies on your tongue when he rubs a sore area, your breath hitching in your throat when he grinds his hard cock on you.
Such a needy puppy he is, whining under his breath words that you can’t quite decipher especially with how heated you’re getting, your mind getting foggier by the minute as you let Satoru get his fill of you.
He rips apart your blouse and carelessly throws it on the floor, along with your bra next. Your nipples are exposed to the cold air of the facility and Satoru is reveling in it. He paws at your heavy boobs with rough calloused hands that are uncoordinated, squeezing the fat in his hand until he sees what he wants.
The droplets of your milk finally coming to fruition, he licks one nipple and you think you can see him visibly shake with excitement, he filts that nipple in his mouth and suckles, after a good minute he ceases his constant unconscious movements and readily focuses on the sweet milk cascading down his throat.
A moan breaks free from your trembling lips, this feels nothing like the machine you have at home, this feels so fucking good it alone has your cunt throbbing in your panties, the swirling of his tongue and just how content he looks is driving you mad.
You slip into that space that you know is bad for you, your voice is for some reason egging Satoru on, calling him all sorts of names that entice him to suck harder. Your hands don’t listen to you either because you’re rubbing the front of his pants in soft motions.
His whimpers don’t go unnoticed, nor does his swishing tail, such a good boy you tell him, losing all sense of rational he drags you with him to sit on the toilet, you don’t expect the amount of strength he has for being so lanky but he manages it.
He goes right back to sucking on your fat breasts that still replenish his appetite.
You let Satoru strip you of your bottoms and your panties, you let him slip his cock inside of you when you know you shouldn’t, he isn’t big but he fucks constant, always hitting that good spot inside of you based off your reactions.
He looks disheveled and messy, his face red and his mouth dripping with drool and remnants of your milk.
You let him bend you any which way he sees fit in that stall, an overexcited hybrid means it’s going to take a while to exhaust them, though you feel tired after having an orgasm you’ve never experienced he isn’t done, he’s cum multiple times, filled your cunt with his leaky cum he still isn’t done yet.
When he’s got you in his lap leaning on him for support he’s nonstop talking about what you and him will do from here, he talks about how he wants a family of his own and how you’ll be such a perfect mommy to his little ones.
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dirtylittlesecre7 · 1 day ago
Note
Oh my gosh— someone who writes for nam-gyu? Am I dreaming?! I CANNOT find any fics of him!! Need headcannons about him rn😩 I feel like that man would enjoy making you cry and upset, like he would grin and laugh while doing so. (Cough— Hatefuck—cough..) Just need headcannons about that man so bad😩🫣
This is actually my first time asking, so I really don't know what to say🥲 but I hope you consider this🫶🫶🫶
-🌟anon
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warning | nsfw content
word count | 0,6k
a/n | thank you so much for your request luv! I hope I could write something as you wanted
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!he's had mixed feelings from the moment he first saw you. hate? anger? like?
oh no, not like. he just hates you so much that he wants to fuck you until you know your place.
"fucking bitch."
"huh?" thanos looked at him incomprehensibly, about to turn his head to you, but nam-gyu quickly changed the subject "nothing."
!he's insanely jealous of thanos👀 even if you don't respond to his flirting, seeing a man next to you makes him angry enough. at least it gives him a reason to make you cry more.
!he should be the only one who annoys you. if he sees someone picking on you, he'll quickly intervene, at first he'll protect you from that person, but then...
"are you too stupid to not protect yourself? no. don't even think about crying." his emotionless voice makes you tremble as he watches you quickly wipe your tears away "good. don't you dare unless I make those tears flow."
!he likes to tease you until you cry because he thinks you look so beautiful with tears in your eyes. If you turn your head and try to hide your face from him, he will forcefully grab your chin and make you look at him with your eyes full of tears. you will see that he is trying to calm down by taking a deep breath because oh...you have no idea how horny he is.
!If he can't sleep at night, he will come to your bed and bother you. If he can't sleep, you can't sleep either. but strangely, talking at night is when you get along the most. guess you are both too tired to argue, but that doesn't mean he won't say a few things about you.
okay, now please hear me out..
!this man is completely clingy when he loves you, but he is also hard when he fucks you, I can't say he doesn't like slow sex, but when he can fuck you like crazy, he doesn't really think about the other option.
!I say clingy because he can never be comfortable if his hand is not on your body in some way. he has to touch you in some way so that he feels better. when you least expect it, you may find his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him "mm...look who's here?"
!If we talk about life outside of the game, you can become his only world. yes, he likes to make you cry and upset. but only you. the others have never caught his attention and they don't. he still thinks you have the most beautiful tears.
!I can't say he's very loud in bed. he'll mostly let out short gasps and short moans. he likes listening to you more, whine for him and he'll make you see stars.
!he likes to tease you and make you cum so much that you cry from sensitivity. when you beg him to stop, he just puckers his lower lip in a mocking tone.
"aw.. does it hurt? what should I do?" he leans into your ear while his fingers, which don't stop, hit the inside of your pussy hard while you just had your 3rd orgasm "Is that all you can take? c'mon.. you can give me more, hm? ah..yes don't hide your voice from me, fuck-"
!he'll run his hand over you while you're sleeping at night, sorry not sorry. when you open your eyes and notices how his fingers are expertly tangled in your wetness, he'll smirk and say "you awake? good. now you better spread your legs for me and be loud as possible."
he's obsessed with you in some way, romantic or not, and he has no plans to leave your side.
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potatoplace · 3 days ago
Text
A Place In This World
The Afterthought: Chapter 5 | series masterlist
ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader
chapter 4 | chapter 6 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist
Story Summary: Working at Sevenda's is a welcome escape from the River House, where you've become little more than a ghost after Starfall.
Warnings: toxic family, depression, self deprecating thoughts (none of them are too terrible this chapter)
Words: ~8.4k
Author's Note: I never seem to get as far in the plot as I want to in every update... This chapter isn't too crazy exciting, but there's some sweet moments and a little bit of angst with the sisters. I hope you all enjoy this update! Title is of course from Miss Swift 🫶
18+ only pls
🤍🤍💔🤍🤍
Your neck was stiff when you came to, the beginnings of the morning sun spilling across your face.
The ground outside was glistening with a fresh layer of snow, nearly untouched at this time in the morning. It seemed even the early risers had chosen to sleep in today, after the revelry of Starfall last night.
You, however, wouldn't stay asleep any longer. Not with the cold numbness slithering through your chest, curling itself around your heart, your lungs, your ribs. An absent hand came to rub at your chest, to bring some semblance of life into your hollow heart once more.
No such luck.
A glance at the clock that had recently been placed above your bedroom door told you that it was half past six.
That gave you two and a half hours to bathe, drink tea, possibly eat something, dress, and make your way to Sevenda's.
You did just that, sinking down into hot water, a sigh leaving your lips as your body soaked in the heat. You could almost pretend you felt alive.
After forcing yourself from the bath, you dressed in a simple, dark green dress. It was made of cozy wool, and the long sleeves were easily pushed up to make whatever work Sevenda would give you easier. It fit you loosely and reached to just above the tops of your feet, something you were grateful for after last night.
The feel of all those males' eyes on you... It was unsettling then, and unsettling to think about now. You could hardly imagine wanting to be looked at like that by someone you actually liked, let alone by strangers... How could Feyre stand it? How could anyone stand it? You supposed each person was different...
You shook your head, clearing those thoughts away. No need to contemplate how inexperienced you are in the romantic world, despite what Nesta claims.
Quietly, you crept downstairs, keeping an ear out for anyone who might be awake, teapot in hand. Thankfully, no one was in the kitchen yet, and you were able to prepare a pot of tea with no interruptions. Safely ensconced in your room again, you sipped at the lovely orange and cinnamon tea you had made.
As you stared out at the still-sleeping city, your mind drifted to last night. How Feyre had had no time for you, and Mor hadn't appeared while you had been in the House of Wind. Feyre had been crowded by the citizens of her city, that was understandable... Mor not showing up worried you though, but you were sure there was an explanation. And your other sisters and their mates, well, you hadn't believed they would interact with you anyways.
Azriel had been... Surprising. Caring. Sweet, almost. Him noticing that you had left wasn't something you had even considered, with how close he had been with the pretty redheaded friend of Nesta's. And... You had become accustomed to not having your absence noticed.
Your eyes closed for a moment, a wave of sadness washing over you.
You still felt so alone.
The minutes continued ticking past as you stared blankly out the window, sipping on your tea when you remembered to.
Soon enough, it was fifteen minutes until nine, and you peeled yourself out of the armchair. Boots first, then the short cloak, scarf, and mittens Azriel had given you for Solstice- also the ones that he had draped around you last night in the cold.
You wondered how he had gotten them...
You just barely remembered to grab the cup that Sevenda had lent to you before you snuck out of the River House, into the snowy city.
The walk to Sevenda's was peaceful, quiet. Most citizens of Velaris seemed to still be sleeping, and the blanket of snow on the ground muffled everything. The silence of the normally bustling city matched the feeling in your heart.
Empty. Cold. Quiet.
Sevenda's was warm already, the smell of spices lingering pleasantly in the air when you pushed your way in through the door.
"Ah, Y/N! Lovely to see that you decided to come in," Sevenda's warm voice greeted you from the left, a hand waved in greeting.
"It's nice to see you too, Sevenda. And thank you, again. I really appreciate the offer. I brought back your cup," you added, raising your hand to show it.
"Thank you, dear," Sevenda said, taking said cup from your hands. "Would you like to get started?"
You nodded your head, and let the fae lead you to the back of the restaurant, into the kitchens. It was large, with multiple shiny, silver stoves along the back wall, three matching cold boxes, a wall completely taken up by pots, pans, anything that you would need to cook. There was also counter space galore, with two other fae already working dough in the far corner.
"For today, I'm going to see how you do with prep work, mainly with fruits, vegetables, and meats. If you do well, I'll keep you on full time, if you'd like," Sevenda said, her words sparking a bit of hope in your chest.
Chopping, dicing, cutting. You could do that.
"That sounds perfect, Sevenda. Thank you for giving me this chance."
Sevenda smiled warmly at you, and placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Of course, dear. Now... Are you feeling alright?" She asked more quietly, a concerned look in her eyes.
You nodded. Even though you weren't, you didn't want to rehash last night's events. "Yes, thank you." You even shot her a smile that you hoped was at least half-convincing, relieved when she returned the expression. "What should I start with?"
"First, you'll need an apron and to wash your hands," Sevenda said, leading you to the large sink, which conviently had a plethora of aprons hanging on hooks next to it.
You did as she asked, scrubbing your hands under hot water halfway up your forearm, dress sleeves already pushed up to your elbows. You tied a dark blue apron around your neck and waist, and faced Sevenda, who was pulling a cutting board from a cabinet. You noted the location, wanting to be as useful as possible as often as possible.
"I'll start you off by demonstrating how I like everything to be cut, and you'll do the same thing right after. I know it will be a lot to take in, but most of it is fairly simple. Let me know if you have any questions, alright?"
"Alright," you said resolutely, nodding your head.
The hours passed quickly, filled with you absorbing the information that Sevenda was feeding you through her demonstrations, taking in every angle that she used the knife at. You did decently, your cuts a bit clumsier than Sevenda's but still accurate enough. She was kinda, reassuring you that in time, you'd gain confidence and surety in your movements.
It was lovely.
Feeling needed. Feeling useful. You had entirely forgotten how that felt over the last two years, being the extra sister with no magic to help in a way that someone else couldn't.
By the time your shift was finished, Sevenda had pulled you aside to speak with you, anxiety building in your gut even as she smiled warmly at you.
"I'd like to hire you on immediately, full-time if you'd like," Sevenda offered, a twinkle in her eyes. "You've already got the basics down, and you're on track to catch up with my other prep cooks so long as you keep at it with the same enthusiasm you showed today. So... Would you like to have a job?"
A smile- a true, unburdened smile spread over your lips. "I'd love to, Sevenda. Thank you so, so much for this opportunity."
"Thank you for solving my dilemma of hiring a new prep cook, Y/N! Now, do you have an account with the Bank of Velaris already?"
You thought for a moment before answering. "I do... But it's the one that Rhys and Feyre set up for me. Would I be able to make a new account?"
You still felt like such a child, knowing so little about how the city you lived in worked. You had spent so long wishing and longing to leave that you'd hardly taken the time to learn about Velaris. Seeing how you were stuck here, likely permanently... The thought sent a pang of sickness to your stomach. But still, since you were stuck here, you might as well start learning about the city in which you will die.
"I'm sure that could be set up... Would you like any help with it?" Sevenda asked.
"That would be amazing, but you don't have to," you said, hoping that she didn't feel forced to help you, after your breakdown last night.
"Oh, nonsense, I'd love to help you Y/N. We can go in a few minutes, I just have a few more questions for you. Now... Would you like to work five or six days a week?"
That was an easy choice. "Six days would be best, I think." Less time in that house, waiting to be left out of events and dinner conversations.
"Alright, and if you ever want to go down to five days, just let me know and we can work something out. Do you have a specific day that you'd like off?" You shook your head. "Would Mondays be fine with you?"
"Mondays would be just fine," you replied. "Do you..." You paused, rolling the question over in your head. "Do you know of any apartments for rent? You don't have to answer, of course, I just thought I would ask," you said quickly, already regretting the question.
Sevenda merely smiled at you. "I do know of a few close by. Once you have a week or two of pay in your account, we could go look at a few sometime, if you'd like?"
You nodded quickly. "That would be amazing, Sevenda. Did you have any other questions for me?"
Sevenda closed her eyes for a moment before fixing them on you once more. "None that I can think of at the moment, but you'll be back tomorrow in case I forgot anything. Now, let's go get you a personal bank account," she said cheerily, rising from the table you had sat at. You followed her lead, letting her take you to the large, white marble building that had a large matching sign with, presumably, its name written in the large gold lettering on it.
Making an account was easy enough, and within the hour you had a small metal card, magically linked to your bank account in hand, your first day of pay already deposited by Sevenda.
You walked back to her restaurant with her, parting with a brief hug, initiated by Sevenda.
"I'll see you in the morning, Sevenda," you said, the words repeated back to you by the kind, chocolate eyed fae.
And then your legs carried you without thinking, back to the River House. The snow had melted just slightly, and was significantly more trampled than when you had arrived this morning. The sun was nearly set already, casting a pretty orangey-pink glow over the city.
Pretty.
The River House was warm when you entered, and thankfully there was no boisterous laughter coming from the living or dining rooms.
A part of you still longed for someone to ask where you were, what you had been doing all day.
But you knew better by now. And you were proven correct when no one came to greet you, even while you made a small dinner of rice with grilled vegetables. You even ate in the dining room, a rarity for you in the past months, the tiniest part of you hoping that Feyre might come in to talk with you. Or that Mor would show up, and you could spend part of the evening together.
Neither happened, and soon enough you were back in your room, a fresh pot of tea in hand, soothing, calming lavender and chamomile again.
You had enjoyed your day at work, but it had exhausted you. All you wanted at the moment was to fall asleep, but you chose to do something else before crawling into your makeshift bed in the tub tonight.
You would try to read. With your gift from the twins in hand, you pulled the cookbook that Nesta had gifted you, filled with lovely illustrations of soups and stews from all corners of Prythian.
Slowly, you let the magnifying glass read out the title a few times, your brain trying to make sense of the letters on the cover turning into the words you were hearing. It was embarrassing, how long it took you to be able to understand a sentence, even with it being read aloud to you. Heat rushed to your face, even with no one in the room to witness your shortcomings.
You tried reading a recipe, going one word at a time with the glass. That... Sort of worked, though it was slow going. And you felt like the only reason you were mildly successful was that the words were being read aloud to you.
How pathetic.
You sighed heavily before draining your last cup of tea and shutting the recipe book. That was enough of disappointing yourself for the night.
You stripped yourself of the dress you'd donned the morning, changing into a soft, long sleeved white cotton sleep dress that met the skin of your ankles, swishing softly against them with each step.
Sleep came easily to you that night, your body tired from doing so much work when it had grown accustomed to sleeping all day and rarely moving. It was a pleasant kind of tired, though, letting you drift into a peaceful sleep.
The next morning went much the same, with you rising before the sun to bathe and have a soothing pot of tea. Work flew by, with you completely focused on improving your knife skills for the seven hours you were there, determined to not let Sevenda down.
Before you knew it, you'd already worked three days in Sevenda's homey restaurant, settling in comfortably, even with the other fae you now worked with. Josi and Torma were the other two prep cooks, and both of them had been warm and welcoming to you. Sevenda's sous chef, Wren, had been a little less friendly, but you'd noticed that he was like that with everyone except Sevenda. He wasn't rude, or anything, just quieter.
It was on your fourth morning of work, a Saturday, that your routine was interrupted.
Azriel was in the kitchen, patiently watching a pot of oatmeal cook, shadows playing around his wings and over his shoulders, a couple of them breaking away to crawl up to his ears.
"Good morning," you said quietly, going to the cupboard that housed the kettle.
"Good morning, Y/N. You're up early," Azriel remarked in a neutral tone, neither judging nor questioning.
"Mm, thought I'd have a cup of tea before everyone else was buzzing around..." You said, feeling mildly guilty that you hadn't told him the full truth. You set to filling the water and setting it on the burner next to the one Azriel was using, then turned to grab your teapot. "Would you like a cup?" You asked before you could stop yourself and consider the possibility of being rejected, even for a simple cup of tea.
"I would very much, Y/N, thank you. Would you like some oatmeal? I'm afraid I've made too much..." Azriel said softly, a tiny frown on his face as he stared at the pot before him.
A small smile grew on your face at his reaction. "That would be nice, thank you." You pulled two of your teacups out of the cupboard. A few minutes later, the two of you were sat on stools at the kitchen island, a bowl of oatmeal and a cup of tea in front of each of you. The oatmeal was delicious, flavored with cinnamon and brown sugar, which paired well with the apple cinnamon tea you had brewed.
You ate in a comfortable silence, occasionally stifling a giggle when a shadow brushed over you, their cool touch tickling the back of your neck and your ankles. Curious little things...
Soon enough, though, it was time for you to depart from the River House, and return to the one place that you felt wanted in this city. Azriel had finished his breakfast as well, so you grabbed his dishes, ignoring his protests in favor of washing them.
"You don't have to do that, you know."
You rolled your eyes playfully, even though he couldn't see your expression. "I know that, I wanted to." Bowls, cups, silverware were all placed in the dish rack, clean and shiny from the water dripping off of them. Once that was finished, you returned to your room for a brief moment to grab your scarf and hat, and when you returned downstairs Azriel was lingering near the front door.
"Going somewhere?" Azriel asked neutrally, only a bit of curiosity in his tone.
You blinked at him once, twice. Strange, that it would be him who would know that you were employed first. "Yes, I'm going to work," you said plainly, hoping that his neutrality would continue. While you wanted your sisters to know... You wanted them to find out because they paid attention, not because Azriel had.
"Oh? Could I walk you there?" His question caught you off guard- if anything, you had anticipated him asking if Feyre or Rhys knew or had approved of the job. In your surprise, you nodded in agreement, and moments later the two of you were out the door, walking through the fresh layer of snow that had fallen overnight. You noticed a few of his shadows moving in front of you, pushing some of the snow from your path.
Cute.
"How long have you been working?" Azriel asked from your right, following the path you were taking.
"Just a few days, so far," you replied, trying to give the minimum information so you wouldn't bore him... Starting a new job was hardly an accomplishment for a fae of his age.
"Are you liking it?"
You nodded immediately. "I'm loving it already, working with food is probably the most natural choice I could have made." Too many words...
"That's wonderful, Y/N. It's nice to see you smile again," Azriel said softly, drawing your eyes to him. He was wearing a small smile on his lips, one that you realized matched your expression. A light flush spread over your cheeks- was your happiness always so obvious?
"It's nice to feel like smiling again..." You said quietly, more to the air around you than Azriel himself.
Sevenda's was in sight now, and you slowed your pace. While Azriel may just be being nice... He was still being nice to you. And having someone be kind to you was something you craved nearly every second of every day, so you wanted to savor it, even if it was selfish.
"Do..." Azriel paused, as if he was considering his words carefully. "Does Feyre know that you're working? She hasn't mentioned it."
"Uhm... No, I haven't told anyone yet," you admitted.
You saw Azriel nod his head in your peripheral, and you hoped it was one of understanding.
"Do you want them to know?"
You hesitated. "If you're asking if you can tell them... I'd rather you not."
Another nod as you approached the door to Sevenda's, stopping in front of it. "I won't tell them, then. Sevenda's, hmm?" You bobbed your head in confirmation. "That's good, she's a great boss from everything I've heard."
"She's amazing, if I can be honest," you said, gratitude in your voice. And she was. She had been so kind to you, and so helpful.
"I'm glad, Y/N," Azriel said, his voice the warmest that you had ever heard from him. "I'll let you get inside. Have a good shift."
"Thank you, Azriel. Have a good day," you said, waving goodbye to him before entering the warm restaurant, a smile on your face.
Your day passed quickly, filled with the delicious smell of spices and fresh cut vegetables, the sounds of sizzling meats and bubbling stews. This job at Sevenda's was truly a blessing, distracting both your mind and body as you listened to the friendly chatter between your coworkers and focused on what you were doing.
The River House sounded empty when you returned, completely devoid of sound. No running water, or voices in the living room. The entire night, you saw no one, not even Nuala or Cerridwen. You even spent a few minutes sipping tea in the living room - though you left quickly, feeling out of place even while alone - hoping to see Feyre for a moment. You hadn't seen her since Starfall, and... You wanted to see her. You also would have been able to ask her where Mor was, but alas, the question would have to wait.
The next evening, after your final day before having a day off, you saw Feyre for the first time in five days. She was glowing with happiness, both naturally and from the magic you knew she had gotten from... One of the High Lords - you still weren't sure which.
"Y/N! Come, sit with me for a little bit," Feyre said, dragging you onto the couch in the living room with her. You had just barely gotten your boots and scarf off before she met you in the entryway. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."
"It has been a bit," you agreed, settling in beside her. You glanced around, noting that Nesta and Elain were seated next to each other on the love seat, angry stares trained on you.
At least they weren't glaring yet...?
"So, how have you been?" Feyre asked you, drawing your attention away from your other sisters and back to her.
"I've been fine, Fey. Just..." You debated telling her about your job. That would also mean Nesta and Elain knowing... But... You wanted Feyre to know. "I've been... I've been working."
Nesta scoffed from where she was seated, whispering something to Elain. You frowned. What problem could she possibly have with you having a job?
"Really?" Feyre asked skeptically. "You... Where are you working?"
Her tone, the sheer disbelief in her voice had you regretting ever opening your mouth. Being honest was obviously not a good choice for you anymore. "At Sevenda's restaurant..." You said quietly, met with a dainty snort from Elain. Heat rushed to your face, especially when Feyre frowned at you, as though she didn't believe you.
"Really? That's... That's really nice, Y/N. I'm happy for you," Feyre said with a strained smile. You didn't believe her for a second.
Still... "Thank you, Feyre. What about you? How have you been feeling?"
"Tired," Feyre moaned dramatically, a hand on her forehead. "The little one seems to be draining all of my energy, I've had to start eating double what I normally do just to feel like I can function."
"Maybe you can stop by Sevenda's when Y/N is working," Nesta suggested in a snarky tone, causing Elain to giggle into her hand. "If she even works there... What Sevenda would need with you, I have no idea."
Tears pricked at your eyes, though you fought them. Why were they so mean to you?
Feyre glared at Nesta, but said nothing in your defense.
She probably agreed with Nesta's words.
"I'm sorry that you're feeling so exhausted Feyre. Maybe there's something that could be taken off your plate for a little bit, until you're feeling better?" Another scoff from Nesta.
"I don't think there is, Y/N. It takes a lot to run a court..."
You knew that. Of course you knew that. "Oh... Well, I hope that you feel better soon, then. I'm... I'm going to go take a bath. I'll see you later?"
Feyre nodded. "I'll see you later. At dinner?"
There was no way in hell you would be showing at dinner tonight. "Maybe," you said, standing from your place next to her. You made your way out of the living room, ignoring Nesta and Elain's glares, up the stairs and into your room.
Happy. You had been happy when you returned home. You were proud of the fact that you had gotten a job. And yet the three people that should have cared, should have shared in your happiness and pride? They couldn't care less. They didn't even believe you.
That only served to solidify your choice to leave this cursed house as soon as you could, to continue in your plan to have your own living space. And, of course, it put tears on your cheeks, on the blanket that you curled into as you laid in the bathtub.
🤍🤍💖🤍🤍
In your first three weeks of work, you never saw Mor. You did, however, receive a letter from her on your first day off, read to you by the glass the twins had gifted you. She had apologized profusely for not showing up to Starfall, though she had a good reason. The citizens of the Hewn City had demanded to have a member of the High Lord's Inner Circle stay with them through the celebration, and as the only one already there, that duty had fallen to her. And in the week since, she had been constantly fighting with Keir over the upcoming election that was planned, hardly having a moment to herself.
Which was why the letter had taken so long to be written.
You felt horrible for having thought she had abandoned you, though you knew there was a reason you had jumped to such a conclusion.
Every week since then, Mor had managed to find the time to write you a letter, each one asking about how you had been, informing you of the lastest bullshit her father had put her through. You looked forward to each letter from her, but wished that you could see her in person, or at least write a letter in response. You missed your friend. According to her most recent letter, the one that had arrived two days ago, she would be returning to Velaris for a few days in the next week.
You were excited to see her again, but more than that, you were excited to move into your apartment today.
Sevenda had shown you to two different available apartments last week, and on Monday you had signed your lease. The building was only a couple of blocks away from Sevenda's, and it was a cute little place on the third floor, with a balcony that had a decent view of the mouth of the Sidra and the harbor. You already knew that you would be taking your tea on it once the weather had warmed, the view was too amazing to pass up an opportunity to look over.
The walls inside had already been done in a shade of light pink the day before, the cabinets of the kitchen coated in a pale lavender, a move in gift from your new landlord. It was a small space, that was true. Besides the bathroom and built in closet, the apartment was one large room, with no walls separating the living room from the kitchen, the kitchen from the bedroom.
But you didn't mind.
Because it was yours.
And truly, how much space did you need? There would be enough room to have a small dining table, a loveseat and a couple of armchairs in front of the fireplace - which you had been absolutely delighted to see - and a large bed. You could even put up screens or curtains to partition off your bedroom, if you felt like it.
The possibilities felt endless as you lugged your small amount of belongings over to your new place, bursting at the seams with happiness.
Today, Sevenda had given you the day off so that you could move in, though you had tried to insist that you wouldn't need the whole day. Still, she had made it clear that you deserved the day to settle in and purchase whatever you needed, even going as far to give you a week of advanced pay.
Moving your belongings took you less than an hour, even in the snow, and only three separate trips between the River House and your apartment. The presents you had recieved for your birthday and Solstice, the clothing that you couldn't part with, skincare items, and your hairpin all went with you, but everything else in your old room stayed.
You had decided against informing anyone of your move, choosing instead to quietly remove your things. If they truly cared about you, they would notice your absence soon.
If they didn't... You would deal with that if it came.
By midday, you were shopping in the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, on the hunt for cookware. You already had the wonderful measuring cups and spoons that Nuala and Cerridwen had gifted you, as well as your tea set from Azriel, but you would need a bit more than that to be able to cook at home.
That lead to you entering a lovely little shop, filled to the brim with pots, pans, and cooking utensils in every color of the rainbow.
For now, you only bought one frying pan and one pot with a lid, both in a shade of pink that matched your measuring cups. You also purchased a set of three mixing bowls in the same shade, made of a light but durable clay. A spatula, wooden spoon, whisk, and a set of silverware also came home with you, along with a few cleaning supplies that the store happened to carry, but anything else could wait for now.
You carried your bounty home, arms sagging under the weight of your purchases as you climbed the stairs to your apartment. Everything was put away in a matter of minutes, and you allowed yourself to relax on the floor for a bit, letting your arms flop out to the sides.
You could hardly believe it... A smile crept across your face as you lay on the floor of your own apartment, that you had earned the money for. You had done this for yourself, all on your own.
Once your arms felt less weak and tired, you sat up and looked around the room. It was... Fairly barren. Your pink bedding set and blanket from Mor were in the far right corner of the apartment, the box of your clothing placed next to it. Near the door to the bathroom you had placed your box of toiletries, and in the kitchen you had already stacked your cookbooks and teas on the counter and placed your dishes in the cupboards.
You needed some kind of furniture tonight, if you could manage to find something your weak arms could carry home.
And towels! How had your forgotten about towels? Oh- and food, you would need something at least for tonight.
You let out a breath. Maybe Sevenda was right, that you would need most of the day to get settled. You got up after another moment and put your boots back on, along with your hat and scarf.
A trip to the Palace of Thread and Jewels provided you with the towels you needed, in an assortment of pastel shades and sizes, as well as a fluffy purple bath mat. You even remembered to pick out two fluffy pillows as well, just in case you slept on the floor or in the tub tonight. As you were leaving the Palace, you couldn't help but pick out a soft, sky blue blanket one of the outdoor stalls, the green skinned fae bidding you farewell with a kind smile. You walked home, snow beginning to fall just before you entered the building.
You deposited your bags on the floor to the left of your front door, and set down the stairs immediately after locking up. Before the snow started to accumulate, you wanted to get a chair or something so that you would have a place to sleep for the night. If you couldn't find anything... Well, the bathtub looked to be the same size as the one in the River House.
When you had been out earlier, you thought you had spotted a second hand store, filled with mismatched furniture. You retraced your steps, and found it to be in the middle of the Palace of Thread and Jewels.
Inside, it was cluttered, with small paths leading through the building. It was near the back of the store that you found something you might like- a tall backed, wooden chair with a pink velvet cushion and backing, the legs of the chair curved and elegant.
Why would someone ever part ways with this?
You continued to the back of the store, finding a pale, short fae male sitting behind a counter, reading a book.
"Hi, I'd, uhm... I'd like to buy a chair that you have?" You asked shyly.
"Which one?" He asked, without looking up from his book.
"The uh. The wooden chair with pink velvet on it."
"Fifty gold marks," the male said shortly, a hand extending to take your bank card and press it to his ledger, all while continuing to read. He handed it back a moment later. "Have a good day, miss."
"Thank you," you said quietly before leaving the counter, going to collect the chair into your arms.
The walk home was slow going, the chair decidedly too big for you to comfortably carry for more than a few steps at a time. But still, you made it, dragging the piece of furniture up the stairs and through your door. You managed to lug it in front of the fireplace, settling into it for a moment.
You almost decided to skip getting ingredients for dinner... But your stomach rumbled in protest, at the thought of continuing to neglect your health in favor of avoiding discomfort. So instead, you pulled yourself from your new chair, then went back down the stairs and into the snowy city one last time today.
The Palace of Hoof and Leaf was a bit further than the Palace of Bone and Salt, but you knew where to find what you were planning to cook for dinner. It was easy enough to find rice, chicken, zucchini, broccoli, and a small set of spices, a large enough selection to satisfy you for at least your first month. Snow had begun to fall heavily while you had been in and out of shops, already covering the tracks that had been on the bridge when you had crossed it earlier, and when you finally made it up the stairs and through your front door, you were feeling tired.
Tired enough that for the moment, you placed the chicken in your cold box then walked over your chair, and plopped down.
You would consider today a success, even with how tired you now were. After all, you were tired in your chair, in your apartment.
🤍🤍💙🤍🤍
Two days after you moved, you had an unexpected knock on your door, just a few minutes after you returned home from work.
Perhaps it was finally Feyre, realizing that you had moved.
You were proven wrong when you opened the door, however, to see Azriel standing before you, a cloth bag filled to the brim with little jars.
"I- Hello," you said, surprised at him being here, even if he had taken to walking you to work on the mornings he was in town. "Can I- Can I help you?"
"I just returned from Illyria, only to find one of my shadows to be very frantic over the sudden emptiness of your room," Azriel said, though there was no accusation in his tone. "And after I spoke with Sevenda, she... She directed me here. I hope that's alright?"
You were even more surprised by the efforts he had gone to to find you, than his presence at this point. "That's fine, Azriel. Was there a reason you wanted to see me?"
"I... Yes," Azriel said, somewhat shyly, and you swore that you almost saw a flush covering his cheeks. "You never did tell me which teas you enjoyed, so I brought you a jar of each. I thought you might like to have a bit more, now that you're living on your own."
That was... Incredibly sweet of him to do. You were running low on your tea stash at the moment, and knowing that he'd thought of you...
Don't get any feelings, or hints of feelings, you reminded yourself. Humans and fae don't belong together, no matter how kind and attractive they are.
"Thank you, Azriel," you said, stepping aside to let him through the doorway. It was only polite, after all, to let him in. "I'll take those," you said as you grabbed the bag from his hand, moving into the kitchen to take arrange the little jars on your counter.
"You don't have a bed," Azriel observed from behind you, a hand on your chair, where your blankets were still piled.
"Oh, I'm uhm... I'm still working on that," you said sheepishly, abandoning your task of organizing the jars. Your eyes darted over everything, looking for anything else he could find issue with.
"Let's go solve that, then."
"I- What?" You asked, thoroughly confused. He was offering to go shopping with you...?
"We can go find you a bed today, Y/N. You need something to sleep on, and while a chair is fine for a little bit, it really would be best for you to have a bed," Azriel said simply. You were still staring at him in shock, so he sighed lightly and said, "Think of it as a housewarming gift, Y/N. You can pick out whatever you want, and my shadows will bring it here for you."
"I- But... Why?" You managed to get out, even as you mentally kicked yourself for being so awkward.
Azriel's mouth turned up in the corners at your reaction. "You need a bed, and I'd like to know that you're sleeping comfortably."
"But... Why?" You repeated, still confused.
Azriel sighed and shook his head. "You're my friend, Y/N, I like to know that my friends are well taken care of. And that starts with a good night's sleep, which starts with a bed," he explained as he walked over to your closet, pulling out the scarf and hat that he had gifted you. He wrapped the scarf around your neck and put the hat on your head, lips turning up more as you stood there and let him. "Now get your boots on, unless you really don't want to go."
Your eyes narrowed playfully at him, but you did as he said, slipping your boots on and lacing them up. "Alright... Thank you, Azriel."
His lips turned up into a full smile this time, a beautiful sight on his face. "You're welcome, Y/N. Now, let's get going before it gets too dark."
You let him lead you across the Sidra, to a shop in the Palace of Flame and Steel that specialized in wooden furniture.
"Pick out whichever one you like most," Azriel had told you, with a pointed look telling you that he would know if you tried to pick the least expensive option.
He watched as you went from bed to bed, mattress to mattress trying to find the right combination. You had been in the store for nearly an hour by the time you made your choice, settling on a walnut frame. It had a nice headboard, with little creatures carved into the posts on both sides, a feature that was continued at the corners of the end of the bed. Some of them looked like little cats, a pet that you had always wanted to have but never could afford in the human lands, and when you had been able to, your family had firmly shut the idea down.
For the mattress, you had laid on one that felt like a cloud, supporting your body in a way that you had never experienced. Perhaps... Perhaps Azriel was right, after all.
You felt dreadful, though, as he paid for your new furniture, even as he reassured you that it was a housewarming present and he was more than fine paying double the amount if he had needed to.
He walked you back to your apartment, and, as promised, your new bed was already set up along the back wall, looking extremely inviting even without bedding on it.
"You should let me repay you," you insisted to Azriel, a hand on his forearm stopping him from leaving. "I can't... This is too much," you said.
Azriel's eyes shined with understanding as he read the guilt in your own. "It's okay, you know. To be given things, without the need to reciprocate. But... If you still feel that you need to repay me, I suppose you could make me dinner some time," Azriel suggested.
You narrowed your eyes at him. "Are you sure I can't pay you back?"
He shook his head. "The only payment I will accept is in the form of food, Y/N. Again, this is a housewarming present, it is a gift that I am giving to you of my own free will. I am, however, partial to your cooking, which is why I would accept that as payment."
You sighed, but nodded your head. You would pay him back with food, as often as he liked. "What days are you in the city?"
🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍
It took two more days before Mor was in town, which you found out about two hours into your shift when she burst into Sevenda's, speaking loudly enough that you could hear her in the kitchen.
A moment later Sevenda appeared, your blonde friend in tow.
"Y/N!" Mor exclaimed, pulling you into a hug once you had set down your knife. "Oh, girl, I have missed you so much!"
You squeezed her back tightly, overjoyed to see her again. "I've missed you too, Mor!"
Mor pulled away a moment later, her face serious. "Where are all of your things? I went up to your room in the River House to see you, and none of your stuff is there! Feyre had no idea either..."
A flush spread over your cheeks. "Oh, uhm... I moved out?" You said hesitantly.
Mor blinked at you a few times before a smile slid over her face. "You... Moved out?" She giggled. "And you didn't tell anyone? Was it this morning?"
You shook your head. "No, it was on Wednesday," you admitted softly, turning your gaze to the floor.
"And Feyre didn't... Oh, sweets," Mor cooed, pulling you into another hug and stroking your hair. You pushed her away after a moment, face bright red at being comforted in front of your coworkers.
"It's okay, Mor, really. I've already accepted that they don't notice me," you said, hoping that you had successfully hidden your pain. You may have accepted that your sisters pay you no attention, but it didn't mean your heart didn't hurt.
Mor frowned at you, but accepted your answer for the time being. "Well, when are you off work? I can stop by again, and you can show me your apartment!"
"I'm normally off right around five, you could come back then."
"Sounds like a plan, sweets!" Mor said brightly before leaving the kitchen, waving at you before being shooed out by Sevenda.
You quickly got back to work, determined to make the day pass by quickly.
And it did. The next five hours went by fast, filling you with a feeling of accomplishment as you finished everything Sevenda had asked you to do a few minutes faster than usual. Something as simple as that made your day so much brighter, easier to fight away the feeling of loneliness that followed you most hours of the day.
Mor met you outside as she'd said she would, a shining ray of sunlight even as the sun had begun to set.
"So- I leave town for a few weeks, not that I wanted to," Mor grumbled as you linked arms with her and began to lead her to your apartment. "And when I come back, you've already had a job for three weeks and you've moved into your own apartment? I am so proud of you Y/N."
You blushed at her words, but still allowed yourself to soak them in. "Thank you, Mor. I'm glad that you're okay with it."
Mor frowned. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it? I think it's amazing that you decided to move out, everyone deserves their independence."
You nodded, but your thoughts were on your sisters... What they surely thought of you, leaving without a word... "It's just... I don't know. My sisters... Weren't very supportive of me even having a job, let alone having my own apartment."
"Oh, hon, don't worry about them. I think they're just jealous of you having your own life outside of our little circle. Now, Nesta and Elain... They could certainly use a talking to," Mor hissed. "And Feyre isn't much better, letting them get away with their behavior."
You shook your head. What would they have to be jealous of? Being lonely? Having at most three friends, if you were being generous with the term? "It's fine, Mor, really. I've stopped expecting them to act any certain way, it's just... Easier."
Mor sighed next to you. "I suppose so... Anyways, tell me what's been going on!" Mor said cheerily, sensing your hesitancy to speak about your sisters.
"Well... Not much, beyond the moving out and getting a job. Although..." You thought about Azriel, how you now considered him a friend- and he thought the same of you. "Azriel has been very nice, he brought me some tea blends when he found out I moved. And helped me find a bed."
"Oh, I'm sure he did," Mor said suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows at you. You smacked her arm lightly and shot her as much of a glare as you could muster.
"Not like that Mor!" You exclaimed, blood rushing to your cheeks at her insinuation. "He helped me go to a store and his shadows brought it back to my apartment."
"Oooh," Mor laughed. "Okay, I misunderstood, Y/N. I'm glad that he's been a good friend to you while I've been away."
"I am too, Mor," you said softly, a hint of a smile on your lips.
You unlocked the front door of your building, letting Mor pass through the doorway before you, then led her up the stairs.
"Three flights? I must be spoiled, only having a flight to go up one at my place," Mor said by the time you reached the top, your fingers fumbling for the correct key.
"It's not all that bad, Mor," you giggled as you swung the door open, letting her go in first, and closing the door softly behind you.
"Oh, Y/N! This apartment is so you!" Mor said brightly as she looked around. "The bed looks amazing." She flopped down on it, sighing happily after she did. "You chose good, sweets."
"Thank you," you giggled, plopping down next to her. "I'm so glad the owner was willing to paint, it saved me from trying to do it myself."
"And it looks lovely too, and as I said, very you. So," Mor started, a hand flung onto your thigh. "I thought, if you have a day off while I'm in town, we could do a sleepover again! Either here or at my apartment, whichever you'd prefer."
"That sounds lovely Mor. If you're still here tomorrow, and you don't have plans tonight, I have tomorrow off," you offered.
"That's perfect! I'll go get a change of clothes and pick up some food on my way back, if that works for you, Y/N."
You nodded. "That sounds like a plan to me, Mor. I'll see you in a little bit?" The two of you stood from your bed, Mor's hair the tiniest bit rumpled from being squished against your mattress.
"Yep! Any preferences on food?"
You shook your head. "Anything is fine by me Mor, get whatever you've been missing while in the Hewn City."
Mor's face scrunched up at the mention of the Hewn City. "Don't remind me," she groaned. "I think I'll get some kind of pasta. Pasta sounds perfect for a sleepover."
"That sounds good to me. Walk safely, Mor, it's been slick out at this time recently," you warned, smiling when Mor winked at you playfully.
"I'm always careful, sweets. See you in a bit!"
You shut the door behind her, a smile on your face. You hadn't realized just how much you had missed your friend until you saw her again.
Not wanting to waste your alone time, though, you pulled yourself into the bath, determined to finish before Mor returned. While you didn't feel disgusting, you felt a bit dirty from work still, and if you're spending the night with Mor you'd like to smell decent.
Still, you let yourself relax in the steaming water for a few minutes, bubbles coating the water's surface. Your lungs expanded and collapsed rhythmically, lulling your heart into a state of peace.
Maybe... Maybe you could belong in Velaris.
Maybe it was your sisters that you didn't belong with, any more.
But with Mor? With Azriel? At work? You felt like you had begun to carve out a tiny little place for you to exist peacefully, if not happily.
A deep sigh left you.
You wished... You wished you could belong with your sisters once more. Your heart longed to see them, to share your joy with them. But... They never seemed to share in it with you.
So, you would settle for carving out a space for yourself.
No, it's not settling, you told yourself as you began to scrub at your body with a cloth. It's choosing to live, not to merely exist.
You may not know what you want out of life, but you're willing to find out now.
You willing to try your hand at living once more.
🤍🤍💝🤍🤍
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my-castles-crumbling · 2 days ago
Text
daylight - january 8th - jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 333
It was late. Or...early...or...well, it was that strange in-between time. That time when the sky turned from completely dark to slightly hazy, and the complete tiredness of being awake at such an hour turned to an almost jumpy feeling of being overly exhausted.
Normally, Regulus enjoyed the peacefulness of times like this. It was one of the only times he could truly appreciate Hogwarts Castle. There were no people to bother him, no expectations or family demands to weigh him down. Just...silence and beauty.
But right now, things weren't quiet, and he didn't mind.
Instead, he found himself sitting side-by-side with James Potter, watching the daylight pierce through the night, talking with an ease he'd never quite found before.
And how was that possible, when they were so different? When they were opposites in life, in personality, in everything? When they'd both happened on this moment and for some strange reason, allowed it to happen instead of turning away. Because normally, Regulus didn't allow himself to look at James, let alone sit next to him and softly whisper to him that he was scared to go home that summer.
And then, James turned to Regulus and said softly, "When I see you again, are you going to pretend this never happened, then?"
Taken aback by his directness, Regulus frowned. "Why would I?" he asked, thought he knew the answer.
"Do you want a list?" James chuckled, leaning back on his hands. But as he did, his fingers brushed Regulus's, and he froze.
Skin warming, Regulus bit his lip and thought about the hands they'd both been dealt. "Maybe," he murmured, looking out into the sky, unable to meet James's eyes.
But then, a hand purposefully grabbed his. "What if I don't let you pretend any more? What if I can't, now that I know...?" James whispered, voice full of hesitant hope.
Regulus didn't answer, the question was too loaded. He just leaned into James and watched the sunrise, enjoying his moment of peace.
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yelenaslyubov · 3 days ago
Text
A Sleepy Start
main masterlist || yelena belova || requests
a/n: sorry i took a little hiatus🙈between the holidays and work i found myself a little bit burnt out, but im here with this spicy story for you and i hope you enjoy it! i’ve also been working on a holiday/winter story that i still plan to post to be on the lookout for that
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ pairing: yelena belova x female reader
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ warnings: MINORS DNI (18+) smut- reader receiving & being a massive bottom, basically porn with no plot, dubcon, daddy kink, dirty talk, begging, fingering, cunnilingus, strap on, spanking, nipple play
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ description: yelena has been away on a mission for a couple days and you have found yourself crawling into bed late at night. when yelena returns, she finds it hard to wake you up and decides to wake you up in a new way
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ word count: 1.9k
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You had never been a morning person. Never was and never would be. The only person that could possibly get you out of bed was Yelena. On this day in particular, not even she could pull you out of bed.
You had an exciting night out several hours prior and did not find yourself crawling into bed until the wee hours of the morning. Yelena had been gone on a mission for the past couple days so you assumed she wouldn’t be back for a while. You were surprisingly mistaken.
The sun was shining bright and hot along your bare back, an indication that it was late morning or early afternoon. You felt hands tugging at you, pulling you out of a deep sleep.
“Come on,” a voice whined. “Why won’t you get up!” You groaned in response and tried to turn over the opposite way.
“Pleaseee,” Yelena begged. “I haven’t seen you in forever… well more like two days but still.”
She tugged and pulled but you wouldn’t budge. The more she messed with you the more your body was revealed from under the sheets. Yelena intensely observed you laying on your stomach, taking in each detail such as your messy hair and sunlit skin.
An idea popped into Yelena's head that might get you out of bed, or at least to gain consciousness and join the world again.
“Y/n,” she said in a singing voice, “time to wake up.”
Yelena came down closer to your body and whispered in your ear. “Wake up or else I’m going to do it for you.”
You inhaled and exhaled deeply and sighed. You weren’t quite awake enough to move but you had gained enough consciousness to hear Yelena now. You were now more interested in where she was heading with this.
Yelena took her jacket off until she was left in a white tank top and pants. Gently she climbed on the bed and straddled your mid section.
She ran her short nails down your back, leaving red streaks in their place. The slight pain caused you to shift a little in your place. Definitely not enough to wake you up, so Yelena continued.
Her lips then made contact with your skin. She left several kisses up and down your spine, then traveled over to other soft places to call her own.
She latched onto a soft spot near your shoulder blade and sucked. She left dark purple and red spots all over your back. By this point, you were waking up. You started to feel the result of Yelena’s pleasure growing as you slowly woke up.
Despite all of Yelena’s efforts, you still did not budge. This wasn’t necessarily because you were asleep, this now turned into a game for you to see what all Yelena would do to you. There had always been a part of you that wanted to test out the water in this department and you felt like now was the perfect time.
You couldn’t tell her how desperately you wanted her because you wanted her to show how bad she wanted you. You loved when Yelena showed how much she needed every square inch of you. So, you decided to watch it play out.
Touching all over your skin did not seem to suit her just yet, so she decided to move to more sensitive parts of you to try and do the trick.
Yelena pulled down the sheet that was covering your hips and legs. You were in your usual position of slumber where you laid on your stomach with one of your legs bent to the side of you. This gave Yelena the perfect view of what she wanted most.
“Fuck,” she whispered under her breath. “I’ve missed you.”
She gripped onto your hips, squeezing them out of desperation. There was nothing more that she wanted to do than show you who you belonged to.
Yelena backed up on the bed and sat between your legs while observing your quiet frame. There was something so erotic about seeing you completely at her mercy, even if Yelena didn’t know you were enjoying every second of her touch.
“Your pretty pussy is so wet for me,” Yelena whispered before eagerly touching you where she wanted most.
She separated your folds like the pages of a book with her fingers, so gently taking in how wet she had already made you. Her fingers made quick work of circling your clit in a slow rhythm that made you silently beg for more.
All she wanted was for you to respond to her pleads of desire. The more that Yelena touched you the more aroused you become, moving your hips slightly as a form of relief.
Yelena smiled. “There’s my girl, good job.”
She kept going at the same pace. You knew Yelena well enough that this meant she was only beginning. If she had sped up then you knew that she just wanted to have all the fun with your pussy until you came however many times pleased her.
You moaned lazily and shifted in your position. “I know you’re waking up, sweet girl,” Yelena said. “I want you closer to me. I need to taste you.”
Yelena grabbed onto your hips firmly and pulled you up. You whined in protest as you were being moved.
“Don’t whine, you know you want it,” she said. “Let me play with you more baby.”
You were now propped up on your knees while your front section arched against the bed, leaving you in a doggy type position.
It didn’t take Yelena long to touch you again. Her hands were placed on your ass while her mouth latched onto your clit, causing you to whine.
“What is it? Is my girl starting to wake up?”
You were awake long ago and now you were enjoying everything that Yelena was doing. You hadn’t realized how much you missed her until your body reacted in such ways you didn’t know.
“Keep going baby, Daddy wants to hear you.”
Her tongue flattened out and ran up and down your cunt so perfectly. Just the thought of watching Yelena torture you was enough as it was.
You moaned long and desperately at her effect on you. You couldn’t help but move your hips for any kind of additional touch you could get.
“My poor needy girl,” Yelena tutted. “I see you moving your hips so good for me.”
You whined as Yelena moved her tongue around your pussy, exploring each part and savoring every taste. Her tongue poked at your entrance and you moved your hips back towards her abruptly.
You had waited around long enough, which is why you decided to finally speak up. “More,” you said, which was muffled by the bed.
“What was that?” she said. “I need you to be louder for me.”
“More,” you whined.
“You want more, sweet girl?”
“Please,” you begged, no longer caring if you were being desperate. All you wanted was more of her everywhere.
“I think I can do that for you… wait here, love.”
Yelena left the room for a couple minutes while you waited on the bed. You had turned your head towards the door so you could see her coming. When she came back, she had shed her pants in the process in exchange for the spandex harness with your favorite attachment waiting for you. Yelena’s short hair was messy and you could see her hardened nipples through her shirt, making you release a small string of profanities.
She came back just as she started; creeping over you with her mouth dragging down your spine while you readjusted to sit up on your elbows.
“Good morning,” Yelena whispered in your ear. “I hope I didn’t disturb you too much.”
“Not a bit,” you whispered back.
As Yelena nibbled back down on your back, you could feel her strap brushing occasionally against your pussy. Each time it made contact, you wanted to scream with pleasure but you held your tongue until it was appropriate. You didn’t want Yelena to have too much fun.
“You’re so fucking hot, you know that?” Yelena’s warm breath like fire against your skin. “I couldn’t wait to come home and fuck you like this. That's all I could think about.”
Yelena’s words of desire made yours grow exponentially, if that was even possible. Your hips practically exposed your own desire for Yelena, moving more every minute that she teased you.
“You’ve waited so good, angel. Do you want me?” she asked. All she wanted was to get a rise out of you, which was working.
“I want you so bad, please baby,” you begged. Though it was usually below you on regular occasion, begging seemed to fit in with your pathetic state at the moment.
Without another word, Yelena used your hips as a guide and slid her strap into you. It was a flood of arousal that greeted you now, eliciting a string of gasps and moans.
“Fuck, detka,” Yelena whined. You never understood how Yelena’s mother language turned you on so much.
Yelena’s hips moved against you, ricocheting your own hips back into hers. You were overcome by her touch as a result of all of the fun she was having.
“Please keep going,” you whined, moving your hips frantically to enhance your experience. As you moved them, Yelena’s hand spanked the side of your ass, causing you to wince.
“You let me do all the work, baby girl,” she said. “You just sit back and let me play with you.”
The bedroom now echoed of skin on skin contact and your horny pleads. Yelena knew how to bring out the best in you and the most lustful version of you.
Yelena’s hand traveled up your back and snaked to your chest where she leaned down far enough to take your nipple between her fingers. She rolled and pulled on your sensitive nipple which increased your high, arousal pooling around the strap buried deep inside you.
You were getting closer by the second and Yelena could tell. It was obvious in the way that your movements became more rigid and choppy, barely able to form fluid motion.
“Mm, does my poor girl want to cum?” Yelena taunted you and you nodded in reply, barely able to form a clear thought. “I can’t hear you.”
“Yes,” you managed to choke out. “Please, Lena. I wanna cum so bad, let me cum please.”
To finish you off, Yelena’s hand moved in between your legs while still moving her strap in and out of your pussy roughly. Her fingers made contact with your now swollen clit in order to make you unfold beneath her. It didn't take long between Yelena’s whispering orders to you, her relentless strap, and her fast pace fingers.
She had a hard time wanting to stop. She was having way too much fun having her way with you that she found herself stuck in a trance. Her fingers still on your perfect pussy made your body twitch and convulse. You finally pried her fingers away after taking all you could.
You fell into a heap on the bed, your body like jelly. Yelena kissed you more gently this time, almost as an apology for the overstimulation she might’ve caused, even if you loved every second.
“Are you alright?” Yelena asked. Your chest was rising and falling quickly as you tried to catch your breath, but you managed to slightly speak to Yelena with a giggle.
“I’m up.”
.
.
.
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heartmix · 3 days ago
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Never Be - Jack Hughes
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Pairing: Jack Hughes x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 1.4K+ (with lyrics)
Warning: theres angst, pre-devils Jack
A/N: inspired by never be by 5sos. this is not how i wanted to end the fic but it just went in that direction
Masterlist \ Hockey Masterlist
We'll never be as young as we are now It's time to leave this old black and white town
"Let's leave."
"What?" Lifting your head to look at him beside you on the couch to ensure you heard him right. Both of you were in the Hughes family basement enjoying a film you knew he wasn't really paying attention to. Everyone else was asleep upstairs, ditching the both of you two movies ago.  
"Let's leave, go somewhere. No turning back." He repeated giving you a serious expression. Jack was full of surprises and you've learned to love that about him but the look in his eyes tonight was different. There was no pinpointing what emotion he was feeling but you knew he needed this, whatever this was. 
"What's gotten into that brain of yours Hughes?"
"This is the last time we get to be young and dumb. By next week, we'll be both adults off to do our own thing. Just one last time being a teenager with you."
"Well, what do you wanna do? Where do you wanna go?"
"Follow me." He said holding out his hand. Glady taking it you let him pull you off the couch and straight to his car. 
Jack wasn't exactly sure where he was driving to; he didn't have a destination in mind. He just wanted to leave the town with you and soak in the few moments you had left together before his world changed. By this time next week, he would already be practicing at the devil's rink and you would be moving into your new college dorm. As much as he didn't want to think about it, he wouldn't get the chance to talk to you every day. From the stories Quinn has told he would be lucky to catch you when you both are free or when in the same time zone when he's away for games. The Hughes brothers, as close as they are were lucky to catch a back-to-back conversation when the season started. 
I've seen myself here in your eyes I stay awake 'til the sunrise I wanna hold you hold you all night I wanna tell you that you're all mine
The farthest place Jack could think of going was the lookout where the both of you were frequent visitors. He remembered the first time he took you here. It was just a few years ago when he was learning how to drive and accidentally took the wrong turn. Between the nervousness from driving and you teasing him every second of being so nervous, he ended up on the lookout. A happy accident that became both of your spots.
"This might be your last view of our spot for a while." He looked over seeing you take in the sight yourself. 
"Same goes for you, you had to move away for college."
"You had to move away for hockey." teasing back, Jack couldn't help the hint of a smirk pulling from his lips. 
A moment of silence passed through. The only sound was from nature surrounding you both. There was no telling what time it was, time seemed to not exist but at the same time moving faster than he would like. If he could take this moment with you in his arms watching the slowness of the town, he would hang it on every wall so it would make it feel like it never ended. 
"What's going on with you Jacky?"
"I'm just taking this in before leaving." He didn't want to meet her eyes, he was holding on by a thread, and with one more push, he was going to spill his guts. 
"I thought we came to terms with this changing?"
"We did. I came to terms with leaving for New Jersey, not leaving you." There it was. The thing he was trying to hold back and not tell you. He didn't want to guilt trip you and make you feel bad. This occurrence was part of growing up, they weren't the first people to experience this change. 
"Jack.." 
"You are the only constant I had in my life these few years, I don't remember a time we've been apart for a long period of time."
"We'll see each other at Christmas right? that's just a few months away." He knew what you were trying to do and although you giving him hope usually cheered him up, it didn't work this time. 
"Might as well be a whole lifetime."
"You're not making this any easier for me." looking at you he saw tears welling up in your eyes. That wasn't what he wanted to do and he wished he could take back what he just said. 
"I thought you accepted it already." 
"I accepted it until tonight. I've been trying so hard to accept it and it took me nights of crying to be okay and here you are not moving on and it's breaking down my walls." at this point the tears couldn't stop and just kept following. he's never seen you like this, breaking down about the two of you being apart. You were always the strong and level head one out of the two, so seeing this right now he wished more than anything he could be in control of time. Reversing it so he never poured his heart out or freezing it so the both of you could stay like this forever. 
"Why didn't you tell me you've been crying?" The crack in his voice snapped something in you.
"Because you're going to the freakin NHL. I was with you on draft day and saw all the excitement from everyone. How selfish would I be if I told you I was sad about you moving away from me."
"Now you know how feel when I read your acceptance letter to a school on the other coast."
A beat of silence passed before either of them said anything. This was the first time both of you confessed how you were really feeling. Jack knew you were feeling upset about the change just like him, but hearing you confess how it was affecting you tugged at his heart even more. 
"Can you promise me one thing?" Her ask almost came out as a whisper, like she wasn't sure if she wanted to say it.
"Anything you want."
"When you make it big, and you get new friends, a new life in Jersey, a girlfriend, and start a family, promise that you'll never forget me. I'll be good with one call a year or a text for my birthday. I don't think I could take being out of your life for good." The confession made him mad. What was she even talking about? Did she really think that she could be replaced so easily, after being connected by the hips since grade school? 
"Baby, what are you saying? I'm never ever going to forget you. You are my person and the only constant I want in my life. If you are down the road from me or on a different coast, you'll always be mine. Don't think for one second I'll want to find someone else. I want you and I'm happy with any way I'll get that."
"Jack you're not saying what I think you're saying." He was. He didn't want to confess it this way but hearing all the nonsense she was talking about, he needed to end those thoughts right now. 
"I am. I just haven't had the courage to tell you until now."
"I need to ask you for one more thing." The tone in her voice made him scared. Of course, she wouldn't feel the same way. 
With the last bit of dignity he had left he still wondered what she wanted to say, "What is it?"
"I need you to tell me this when we aren't about to move away from each other. It can't be at Christmas or off seasons also. I need you to tell me this when we have adulthood somewhat figured out. If you still feel the same way, tell me then." Although it wasn't what he wanted to hear, he was glad she felt the same way. Of course, she wanted to be logical while in the heat of emotion. 
"I've felt like this for years, if I have to wait a bit longer I will." A smile cracked through. He wasn't kidding. He's waited years since they first entered high school, what difference does it make if he has to wait for her to finish college? 
"We'll see."
"Can we pretend for the last few hours we have tonight? I wanted to remember this."
"You got until sunrise Jacky." With a content smile, he pulled you into his side, entangling your fingers together and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. If he had to wait a few years so be it. 
We'll never be as young as we are now As young as we are now
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darthannie · 3 days ago
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purpose statement
part two of thesis statement
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Pairing: professor!Jim x f!reader
Summary: After spending the night at your professor’s house, you’re left wondering what the hell you’re gonna do next.
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: 18+ please for the love of god, age gap (reader is 24, Jim is 43), morning sex, kissing, praise, dom!Jim, p in v, oral, budding d/s relationship(?)
a/n: I’m back. Kinda! I'll make a post about it! But, here's part two of thesis statement! Read the first one if you'd like. Jim english professor confirmed (to me lol). I might turn this into a series but I'm not too sure yet. This one ends with kind of a cliffhanger, so there might be a part three. Anywho, enjoy!
A leg drapes over yours.
A hand grabs your stomach.
Warm air hits the back of your neck.
His nose softly brushes across your shoulder as he presses a kiss there. And all through this, you’re just barely awake. You sigh into the feeling, pressing your back against his chest. You didn’t know what time it was, and you couldn’t care less. He tightend his embrace. You try to scoot closer to him as if that was even possible. You wanted to be completely engulfed by him. You had a ton of questions, but for now, you were mute. This was as good as it was going to get. After a minute, you manage to turn around and face him before burying youself in his chest.
“Mornin’”, he sighs. 
“Ugh, what time is it?” 
“Doesn’t matter.” He kisses the top of your head as silence settles around the both of you. 
“What’s going through your head?”, he asks. 
“Why were you in the shop that day?”
“Well… It was part dare and part curiosity. And another part of me wanted to try out a toy for the first time.”
“You left in quite a rush.”
“Well, yes a certain student graced me with her presence.”
You blush and meet his eyes, remembering the interaction. “Did you go back?”
“Oh, no.” he chuckles. 
“Why not.”
“I have my toy right here.”
“Jim…”, I said faining annoyance and rolling my eyes at him
“Sorry, sorry that was lame. However, you have to admit it’s true,” his voice darkens, “Are you gonna go home and touch yourself or would you rather have the real thing?”
Your breath hitched. “I-I’d rather have the real thing.” You placed your hand on his chest as if to confirm his existance. He was real and you were indeed in bed with him. In bed with your professor. 
He kissed your forehead, “Right. That’s exactly right… Class is cancelled by the way.” He said it so matter-of-factly. Like it was as easy as that. And, apparently, it was. 
“Check your email.”
You rolled over and grabbed your phone that was magically plugged into a charger, Jim’s doing. You opened up your email and there it was. Among spam emails about the latest 20% off sale at the campus store was an email from Jim. 
“Due to unforeseen circumstances, class today is cancelled. See you all next week ready to work. Best, Jim”
You dropped your phone on the bed. “Jim… What? Why?”
“Because I would rather spend my day in bed with a beautiful woman.” He pulled you into a kiss. “Is that a crime?”
“Well, I just thought-“ You’re cut off by a hand reaching down to you hip. His other hand squeezes between the mattress and your body. You yelp as he guides you to straddle him. You help him along and he looks up at you, teasing you as he cocks his head to the side. “You thought what?”
Your hands lay on his chest. You feels him hard under you. “I thought it was a one night thing. I thought that was it.”
“Oh, no, love I meant it when I said you were mine. I mean. If you want to be of course.”
“What like a friends with benefits situation?”
He tilted his head side to side as if weighing his options. “Yeah, something like that.”
You jaw unhinged to speak but no sound came out. You sat back on his lap, feeling him dig into you a bit more. He spoke before you could muster anything up, “You don’t have to make a decision right now. I don’t want to force you into any type of arrangement or anything. However-“
“However,” you grinded your hips, “what?”
He held in a groan, “However, I really want to be inside you right now, love… Please…” His hands rested on your thighs and he lifted his hips to show you how much he wanted it. He pulled you down into a kiss and wrapped his arms around you. You ran your fingers through his hair and pulled him away to make room. You moved down to kiss his neck. His breath got caught in his throat as you liked a stripe up his neck and reached down under the covers. He let out a hiss as your hand went under his underwear and wrapped around his cock. 
“How are you already so hard?” You woke up ready to tease and he only bucked his hips up in response as you released him.
“Baby, please-“
“Please what?”
He moaned again. “I need-“
“Need what?”
He exhaled, “Fuck.” He flipped her over so she was on her back. He hungrily kissed her neck and nipped at her ear. He grabs onto one of her tits and feels the weight of it in your hand. He moves down to suck on it as she moan his name. He pulls back up and kisses your lips. “Tell me I can take what I want.”
“Jim, I-“
“Tell me, love. Tell me I can take whatever I want.”
You have never been more turned on in your life. You looked him in the eye and say “You can take whatever you want.”
You didn’t even realize he was lining himself up with your wet hole. He plunged into you right as you finished your sentence. He moves in slow thrusts and focuses on you, wanting to see take in you expression. 
He looks down at your body. He wants nothing more than to worship every inch. Everything about this is wrong. It should have been avoided at all costs, but instead of focusing on that he focuses on draging his hand the curve of you hips. He focuses on how your breast fits perfectly in his hand. He focuses on the taste of your lips. It doesn’t matter how wrong this is. He wants all of you.
You’re sweating. Your hair is messy. Nothing about you is put together, and he thinks you are the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. 
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Because you are so fucking gorgeous.” He kissed her right as he finished his sentence. 
“You’re amazing,” he kissed your cheek, “and you’re a damn good writer.”
He whispered the last part into your ear and kissed your neck. Your giggle turned into a moan as you felt him shift to a new spot inside of you, suddenly hitting where you needed him most.  A groan left him as he repositioned himself, thrusting harder and moving to cup your face. Desperate. He was desperate for you.
You pulled him closer to you, needing to feel his body against yours again. He picked up the pace when your fingers laced through his hair, guiding his mouth to your neck. Your other hand firmly held is arm to brace yourself for an orgasm that has yet to come. He nipped at your neck, careful not to leave marks. All the sensations at once motivated you to let go of his arm and reach for your clit. He chuckled and removed your hand from between your bodies, earning him a whimper. He pinned your arm above your head. 
“Ask me.” You only whimpered in response. 
“Go ahead, use your words. Ask me.“
A quiet “please” was all you could utter. 
“Please, what? Please stop?” he said as he slowed his pace. 
“No!” 
“Then, what? What do you want to do, love?”
“I want to rub my clit while you fuck me.” You spoke barely above whisper and he heard you, but it didn’t matter. He wanted you to beg. 
“I’m sorry, what was that?” 
You groaned, growing more needy and annoyed as every second passed. “Please…”
“Say it, babygirl.” He thrust suddenly. Hard and deep.  
“Ah! Please, let me rub my clit while you fuck me. Please, please, please!” 
He grinned and gripped your wrist. He moved your arm in between your bodies and you immediately began touching yourself. Your head tilted back as your eyes rolled back and closed. It was better than anything you could have imagined. You opened your eyes to find Jim looking down and staring where your bodies met. He slowed down and watched as he entered you. 
“Jim, please, don’t stop. I’m so close.” 
He pulled out and watched your expression twist from one of pleasure to one of desperation. 
“Jim,” you drew out his name, “fuck, why!”
“I need to taste you.” He started to move down.
“Jim, please. Just-“
“Are you my good girl?”, he challenged you
You nodded and he shook his head. 
“Words.”
“I’m a good girl.” 
“Yeah?”
“Mhm, I’m a very, very good girl.” 
“Then let me eat this pussy.”
He moved down til his face was between your legs. He licked from your wet hole to your clit. You moaned as he licked and sucked. After a few seconds he stopped. 
“Do you deserve my cum, baby? 
“Yes! Please. Please, I deserve it!”
“Tell me you want me. Tell me how bad you need me.” His voice was low. He needed to hear you say it. 
“I want you. I really, really want you.. Fuck, I need you.” You let out a long moan as he went back to your clit with more determination than before. You pressed his head deeper between your legs as he devoured you. He reached up to grab your free hand, lacing his fingers with yours. You bucked your hips up and he moved with you. 
“I want you inside me. I want your cum inside me again. I want it over and over and over again.” 
He pulled back for air, cursed under his breath, and quickly lined himself up again. 
You kissed him as he entered you slowly again. The kiss was messy and wanton. You tasted yourself on his tongue. His thumb rubbed your clit and your hips absentmindedly met his. 
“Jim,” your voice thin, “I’m gonna-.” 
“Let go, love. I’m right behind you.” 
He let you ride your high before he finished inside you. Spent and panting he didn’t dare move. You were sweaty, exhausted, and experiencing pure bliss. His hands caressed your sides as he soothed you. It was only when you both came down that he pulled out and dragged you towards him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and kissing the top of your head. 
“You were so good,” he whispered, “You were so good for me. So perfect for me...”
You hummed and cuddled into his chest. You felt a bit of awkwardness starting to creep in. You didn’t know how to feel. Submitting to him even the tiniest bit felt like a burden on him, even if he indulged in your every desire. You racked your brain, trying to figure out what to even say in return to you were “so perfect”. You went a little rigid and moved away from him just enough to lift your hand. 
“Thank you. Nice job. Go team.” You mentally facepalmed. You couldn’t figure out what else to say, so you landed on something you’d say after a corporate team building exercise. Or, at least, it felt detached enough that you wouldn’t have to confront your feelings for him.
He laughed and obliged the high five. Then, he laced his fingers with yours and gave the back of your hand a kiss. 
He playfully rolled his eyes, “Darling, why are you getting awkward on me now?” 
You looked up at him and lost yourself in his eyes. He stared back at you with a newfound curiosity. He was searching for a way into your head so that he could finally have some clarity in his life. He just wanted to know if he was right about something, someone, this time. 
“I’m not getting awkward I’m just-“
“Deflecting.” His look said “I’m right aren’t I?” and you half rolled your eyes.
He sighed and rubbed his thumb against your shoulder. “You, my dear, need some advice.”
“Dear god, here comes Professor Ji-.”
“Let. Go.” The soft smile on his face made you feel safe instantly.
You exhaled though your nose, “Pardon?” 
“Let go. Give into… this, whatever this is. Just let go. Let it happen. I’ll be here to catch you.”
“I… How do I know you’re not lying?”
“You don’t. But, I’m asking you to trust me.”
“I trust you.”
“No, not me as your professor. Me as your-“
“As my what? What are you to me exactly? You’re not my partner. We’re not dating. So you as my what?” His comment through you for a loop. You were apprehensive. The last thing you wanted to do was get too attached. 
“As your escape.”
He was right. You desperately needed this. It was an appitite you could never satiate. Yet, you laid with the only person that ever fulfilled your needs and you wondered how much more he could do for you. You wondered how much further you could go, how much deeper this dynamic could go. How much of himself he was willing to give to you? Not to mention, how would you keep this life separate from your life at school? You were both adults, but things like this cloud a persons judgement. 
He continued, “I know you. I can tell what you enjoy just from your writing. You write about romance and relationship dymanics often. I can tell what you’re into based on your word choice alone. I believe it was you that wrote “There’s a certain type of desperation that takes over when you give yourself, your body, to someone else.” I know you, darling. I know what you need and I know how to give it to you. Just let me.”
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reidology13 · 13 hours ago
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we don't talk about it
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Spencer Reid x fem victim!reader
cw: fluff, angst, attempted murder, drug use, drug addiction, hospitals, badly written withdrawal, bad parenting mention, gambling mention, set around season 4, that's it I think wc: 2.6k a/n: this is the first part of a fairly short series I have planned for the next while, hope you enjoy!
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
You registered the blood before you felt the pain. The beat of the music pumped the blood through your veins, sweat hanging in the air alongside the cloying scent of perfume.
You popped a pill into your mouth, unsure what it was or where it had come from, stumbling over to the bar for a shot of vodka to wash it down. You’d just made it to the bar when a man shoved past you, hitting you roughly in the torso. You could tell something was off by the way that the pressure lingered after he had walked away. Your hand reached for the feeling, trying to figure out what was causing it, and found an odd, slightly sticky liquid soaking your dress.
You cringed, pulling your hand back to look at it, expecting to see nothing, the clear remnants of a sugary cocktail spilt on your dress. Instead, you were faced with a darkness painting your palms, and even then it took you a moment to realise what it was, the coloured lights altering its appearance. When you did recognise it, the pain still lagged, and you wondered if the plethora of drugs in your system were acting as an anaesthetic. 
You stumbled outside, growing lightheaded from the blood loss, holding your hand over the wound to stifle the seemingly endless stream of blood that flowed between your fingers. You flipped open your phone, about to call 911, when, finally, the pain hit. Something between the blood loss, the drugs, and the excruciating pain you were in sent your head spinning towards the ground, and the last thing you remembered before you passed out was the thought that you were never going to wake up.
.*☆¸•
You did, however, and when you regained consciousness, you were lying down in a hospital bed, the sharp, sanitised smell instantly recognisable. You had spent enough early mornings recovering from exceptionally dangerous highs to know your way around most of the hospitals in the Upper East Side with your eyes closed. Which, at the time, they were. When you did open them, you regretted it immediately, squinting against the blinding whiteness of the room in an attempt to see your surroundings. There was someone sitting next to your bed, a blurry figure that you were sure you had never seen before. You blinked repeatedly until your vision cleared slightly, and you were faced with a greasy mop of hair, underneath which might have been a man.
“You’re awake.” He sounded too relieved to be a stranger, and you momentarily questioned if you were suffering from amnesia. Then you saw the badge attached to his belt, which made a lot more sense as a reason to be invested in your wellbeing.
“What happened?” You rubbed at your eyes with a shaking hand, trying to ward off the headache that was already forming in the harsh light. You were surprised by how fine you felt, given the fact that your most recent memory was of being covered in blood. 
“Well, you were stabbed two days ago by a serial killer. You’re lucky, he’d been shooting his victims until now. He needed to be closer to his victims, and he made a mistake.” The man leaned towards you, his features growing clearer with proximity.
“Oh. Who are you?” You weren't quite prepared to process just how close to death you had really been just yet. Changing the topic seemed to be the only way to postpone the impending interview that would force you to face it.
“Doctor Spencer Reid, I’m with the FBI.” The way his voice went up as he spoke was a little bit annoying, and wasn’t doing anything to help the steady throbbing in your skull. Scratch your original plan of postponing the serious talk, you wanted to get everything over and done with as fast as possible so that you could get some rest.
“Well, I didn’t really notice at first, he knocked into me. I didn’t feel any pain ‘cause, fuck-” You groaned, a painful shiver running down your spine.
“Yes, they found GHB, cocaine, methamphetamines, and alcohol in your system. That pain you're feeling right now is withdrawal, something I’m guessing you haven’t felt before.” Despite his words, his voice carried none of the sympathy or disgust you would have suspected from someone like him. It didn’t feel like a judgement, but an acknowledgement of how hard it was: it was understanding.
“That… that makes sense.” Your thoughts were foggy, stopping just before they were fully formed, leaving incomplete puzzles with a single piece missing, words without any vowels. Enough that everything you said or felt was left wanting.
“Since you’re the only person so far to survive him, you’re the best witness we have. You’re also the most at risk.” He paused, and you took the chance to butt in, asking the question that seemed the most pertinent before you could forget it.
“What do you mean, ‘at risk’?” You grumbled, the roughness of your voice doing its best to cover up the genuine curiosity in your tone. This was a negotiation, no matter what he said, and you knew negotiations. If your father had taught you one good thing, it was that you never showed anyone your hand. Technically, at the time that hadn’t been metaphorical, he had been teaching you how to play poker at the ripe age of six.
“There’s a fairly significant chance that he’ll come back, try and finish the job. If he finds out you’re still alive, that is.” He said it like it wasn’t anything at all, like it wasn’t the most terrifying thing you had ever been told, just common sense. To him, you supposed it was.
“He’s going to try and kill me again?” There went keeping your cards to your chest. Whose voice was going up now, huh? To be fair, he hadn’t just been told that he was the target of a serial killer who had just landed him in the hospital by stabbing him.
“If you’re willing to do exactly what I say, then no.” His tone had gained a seriousness that it had been lacking before, and maybe that was what had been annoying you, because it was suddenly mostly bearable.
“And so, your plan is for us to…” You trailed off, painfully aware of your loss of footing in the conversation. Again, only one of you was coming down from a high while also healing from a stab wound, and you felt that it was deeply unfair of him to use your circumstances to his advantage.
“You and I would stay in an FBI safe house, working on the case and reporting any breakthroughs back to my team until they find and arrest him.”
“Safe house?” You baulked, “Like, stuck inside with you all of the time, no going out, no fun? That kind of safe house?” The thought of it sent a shiver of anxiety and apprehension through you. For one, you didn’t know this man, and you would be locked in a small space with him for who knew how long, you could only imagine all of the gross habits he had. He probably didn’t wash his hands after going to the toilet.
To be completely fair, you had snorted coke off of a public toilet roll holder before, so you couldn’t really judge him when it came to hygiene. That brought you to your second problem with the propositioned arrangement: any time spent in the safe house was time where you would be fully, stone-cold, sober. It wasn’t a feeling you were particularly accustomed with, nor was it one you wanted to be.
“If by ‘fun,’ you mean what I think you mean, then yes. Personally, I’m sure that we, if you agree to help, will have plenty of fun while we’re there. More importantly, I’m sure we will solve the case.” He spoke like he was trying to sell you something, like you really had a choice at all in the matter. Death or time in a house with some guy. The answer was pretty straight forward.
“Okay, fine, I’ll be your witness.” You conceded, hoping that your agreement would be enough to make him go away for a while. If you were going to spend the next however long with him, you would like to take the short span of time you had as a free woman and keep it to yourself.
He did, standing up and silently leaving the room, as well as you to your own thoughts. You hoped that they would report you as dead on the news, that they wouldn’t tell your parents what was going on. A little bit because you wanted to scare them, make them care about you for a moment. Mostly because it sounded fucking hilarious.
.*☆¸•
You didn’t have to wait long for your answer, depending on what we’re going to consider a long period of time. It was only a few days that you spent in the hospital, but they were painful, and to be completely honest, fucking terrifying. It was like a four day fever, but with added muscle spasms, constant paranoia, and anxiety unlike anything you’d ever felt before. No matter how stretched out those days felt, the moment the time came to leave, it felt as though you’d only been given a few minutes to prepare yourself mentally. Spencer walked into your room on the third day, bringing with him two other people, one was a man you had never seen before, while the other was a woman you’d seen outside your room on your first day at the hospital. Well, technically, your third. Spencer introduced you, although you were sure they both already knew your name, and probably all of your darkest secrets. Then he turned back to you, gesturing to the duo as he introduced them.
“This is Aaron Hotchner and Jennifer Jareau. They’ll be our point of contact while we work on your case.” Aaron nodded simply, and Jennifer offered a wave alongside a short greeting.
“Hi.” You waved back weakly, your arm aching with the movement. Jennifer gave you a kind, if not slightly pitying, smile as you dropped your arm with a wince. She seemed nice, but you were glad that it wasn’t her you were sharing the safe house with.
“Call me JJ, I’m the media liaison with the BAU, so I’ll be in charge of keeping the media from endangering you by reporting your survival.” She took a few steps forward, standing directly in front of you, and you could tell she was expecting you to ask questions. Luckily for her, you actually had one.
“What will my parents get told?” You tried not to sound too anxious for an answer, knowing that she would assume you wanted them told the truth of your circumstances.
“Due to the fact that you're not a minor, we have no legal reason to tell them. So unless there are any extenuating circumstances we’re unaware of, they will be told that you are dead. I know that might be hard for-” You cut her off before she could continue to believe that either party cared about the situation.
“Good, I don’t want them to know.” You spoke bluntly, a clear statement, leaving no room for questions or misunderstandings. JJ stepped back, taking your words as her sign to leave.
The man didn’t speak, simply standing beside Spencer as the number of people in the room dropped from four to three. There was silence for a while, none of you willing to speak and break it. Eventually, Spencer must have decided it had been long enough, clearing his throat in that pointed way people think is subtle, and glanced over at the man – Agent Hotchner, you reminded yourself. 
“We’ll check in on you via phone calls regularly, so that you can update us on the case and tell us what you need delivered to the safe house.” Spencer had already told you that, but you didn’t say anything, just nodding and thanking him, “Please write down a list of things you want to be moved to the safe house from your apartment.” He handed you a notepad, along with a pencil, and you wrote down all of the basics you could think of, as well as a few less necessary items—well, that depends on the definition of ‘necessary’ we’re using, you value your sanity—including makeup, your violin, books, and a few other hobbies. You gave him the notepad back, before grabbing it again, scribbling down to include your iPod and your headphones. He looked over it, nodded, and walked out of the room without another word. You liked him.
When it was just Spencer and you left in the room, he came and sat on the edge of the bed, smiling at you softly.
“How are you? You look a bit better than you have for the past few days.” He was being ridiculously nice and understanding, just like he had been since you’d woken up in the hospital. It made you feel even more guilty for yelling at him the day before when he had come into your room and asked how you were doing. You’d thought it was pretty obvious that the answer was ‘not good’ and made sure to tell him just that, in probably the meanest way possible.
“Yeah, I feel better.” You gave him your weak attempt at a grin, accompanied by a small wince because your whole body ached, that muscle deep ache that sinks its claws into your soul just to ruin your day.
“Good.” He smiled, tight-lipped and stilted, the kind that never appeared on a red carpet or magazine cover, but now that you’d seen it, you decided it definitely needed to.
“When are we going to the safe house?” You kept your eyes on him, waiting for an answer as you pushed yourself up in the bed, sitting with a soft grunt. 
“It should be fully set up by now.” He tapped his fingers against the paper thin sheets as he spoke, the constant movement slightly distracting. “Hopefully we’ll be able to go tomorrow after your personal items are moved in.”
“Perfect, this hospital is so not hot.”
“They do have a very good air conditioning system.” You tried—and miserably failed—to hold back a very ungraceful laugh at his words, deciding quite quickly that this was going to be an entertaining few weeks, if nothing else.
“That’s not what I meant.” You winced at the soft pain that reverberated through you alongside your laughter.
“Oh, um, what did you mean?” He was completely oblivious, and seemed rather embarrassed about the fact, you couldn’t help but attempt to comfort him.
“It means, like, something is bad. ‘Hot’ means it’s cool.” You figured any mentions of Paris Hilton would only further confuse him, given how pop culture blind he clearly was.
“Um, okay.” He gave you that awkward smile, waving as he stumbled towards the exit of the room. He looked like he was fairly used to not being in the know, and like that was something he was judged for fairly frequently. You felt a little bad, but more than anything you wanted to be alone, the headache from the previous days creeping back in. So you settled for just being as nice to him as you could, and letting him leave.
“See you tomorrow?” You smiled softly at the sweet face he made, halting on his way out the door to speak again, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
“See you.”
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
tysm for reading!!
Tags: @reidmoony-toast - Comment to be added <3
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mrsmangi · 2 hours ago
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Hibiscus 🌺🌺🌺
late night call - luigi mangione
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♡ flower prompt: hibiscus - the realization of a friendship becoming something more - meaning: in victorian times, the gift of a hibiscus bloom meant that the giver was acknowledging the receiver’s delicate beauty. ♡ w.c.: 1k ♡ a/n: hi, love! thank you so much for your request. srry for the delay, i'm a bit backed up with requests. she's a short one, but i hope you enjoy!
♡ send me a flower & i'll write a drabble based off the prompt ! ↪ prompts that have been requested
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“Do you ever think people realize just how loud their ceiling fans are?” 
His voice comes through the phone, low and scratchy, like he’s been lying on his back for too long, staring at his own ceiling. You giggle softly, shifting against the pillow propped against your back. Your own fan spins above you, a rhythmic hum filling the space between his words and yours. 
“It’s white noise,” you say, quieter than usual. “After a while, you get used to it and stop hearing it.” 
“Mm, not tonight,” Luigi sighs. “It’s like the fan’s trying to keep me awake for as long as possible.”
You laugh again, a soft, breathy sound that feels just a bit too loud in the stillness of your room. It’s past midnight–long past the time you’d planned to be asleep–but this is how many of your nights with Luigi go. What starts with casual texts morphs into a phone call, then into hours of talking about nonsense; everything and nothing.
“Maybe it’s just your thoughts,” you tease. “What are the voices yelling at you about tonight?” 
He pauses on the other end of the line, just the faint sound of his breathing audible. You know Luigi well enough by now to know he’s not actively ignoring your question; he’s only deciding how much of himself to give away. 
“Life,” he answers lamely, though the vagueness of the reply altogether makes it clear there’s more to it than that. “Do you ever feel like no matter how much you do to succeed, it’s never enough?” 
You roll onto your side, pressing the phone closer to your ear. The dim glow of your bedside lamp casts uneven shadows against the wall. 
“All the time,” you reply honestly. “It gets exhausting, though. I feel like I’m just running a race no one even cares to watch.” 
He exhales, a sound that crackles through the receiver. When he speaks again, his voice carries the kind of understanding that comes from being seen. “Yeah. I get it.” 
The two of you fall into shared silence, the steady hum of your ceiling fan whispering across the line. You let yourself picture him for a moment–probably sprawled out on his bed, one arm thrown over his eyes. His phone would be balanced in his other hand. The image feels familiar, like something you’ve seen a thousand times before, even though you haven’t. 
“Can I ask you something?” His voice breaks the quiet.
“Always.” 
He’s quiet again, but you don’t rush him.
“Do you think…” He pauses again, and you can hear the shift of his breathing. “Do you ever think it’s possible for something to change without either person realizing it? Like, to wake up one day and feel like everything’s changed, even though nothing is actually different?” 
“Maybe,” you say cautiously, voice softer now. “Sometimes things can change so slowly you don’t even notice until it’s already different. Then, you find yourself wondering how long it’s been that way.” 
“Yeah,” he agrees. “That’s exactly what I mean.” 
You stare up at the spinning fan, asking him, “What’s different, Luigi?” 
He doesn’t answer right away. His continuous pauses make you grow somewhat uneasy, stretching a distance between you. “Us,” he says. “I think we’re different.” 
You exhale slowly. “Different how?” 
“I don’t know,” he admits. “But it’s like every time we talk, it feels different. More important, somehow, like there’s something there that wasn’t before.” He stops and you can nearly hear the way he’s turning the words over rin his head. “I used to just…enjoy talking to you, but now, it feels like I catch myself waiting for it. I’m counting down to the next time I’ll hear your voice. And when we’re not talking, I’m thinking about what I want to tell you the next time I see you, or wondering what you’re doing, or–” He breaks out into nervous laughter, cutting himself off. “Um, does any of that make sense or am I just rambling?” 
It makes perfect sense. Too much sense. Your heart picks up speed, the weight of his words pressing against the thoughts you’ve tried to push to the back of your mind. You notice it too. You’ve felt a change in the way you catch yourself thinking about him at odd moments–when a song reminds you of something he’s said, or when you replay the voice messages he sends just to hear his laugh on repeat. Tonight, he speaks heavier, like he’s cracked open a door you have both been staring at for weeks, maybe longer, unsure of who will turn the handle first. 
“It does,” you whisper. 
There’s a small, nearly imperceptible breath on his end, like he’s been holding it and didn’t even realize. “Yeah?” 
“Yeah.” You chew on your bottom lip, letting the word sink in. “I didn’t know if I should say anything. I didn’t want to ruin what we have.” 
“Me neither,” he says, “but I can’t keep pretending I don’t feel it. I do. All the time.” 
You close your eyes, the glow of the lamp behind your lids is a soft orange hue. “So, what now?” 
“I’m not sure,” he says. There’s no pretense, no cleverness to soften the edges of his words. “But maybe we can figure it out. Together.” He says his last word carefully, almost like it’s fragile–like it may break under the weight of its meaning if he doesn’t say it the right way. 
You hear him shift, the faint sound of fabric rustling through the receiver. It’s a small thing, but it makes the moment feel so real, tangible, like he’s not just a voice in the dark. You let his words settle over you. Luigi doesn’t have the answers to all your worries and neither do you. But, it feels comforting somehow–to know that he’s with you in this journey, and you with him. 
“Okay,” you say. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips. You know he can hear it, even if he can’t see it. Your heart is full of love for this boy as you exhale: “Together.”
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xmads-omensx · 3 days ago
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Hi I'm new here so, Can a have something about Noah calming his girl down, when she has a anxiety crisis? Sorry if this is kind weird ou anyting, but sometimes a think about Noah to make me feel better about my anxiety. (Sorry for my english, it' mu secong language)
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Word Count: 1,295
Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Reader
Content Warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, swearing, vague mentions of past trauma, comfort, crying
Tags: @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @lacy1986 @collidewiththesav @kenjipepsi1 @follow-me-down-to-wonderland @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @chey-h @tosoundlessdarkistare @thisbicc @fadingangelwisp
Hi anon! Thank you so much for the request! It was actually quite therapeutic for me to write this since I have recently started struggling with panic attacks. I hope you enjoy!
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Panic attacks were nothing new to me. In fact, it was quite rare for me to go any long length of time without having one.
Since meeting Noah, however, my anxiety had been somewhat better. I never really went out alone anymore, so I always had someone to distract me when my anxiety was getting bad. Panic attacks became a scarce occurrence which reduced more and more as our relationship progressed.
Granted, Noah had been taking a break from touring, so he was always just… there.
We hung out all of the time. In fact, it was odd if we weren’t together.
I loved that relationship that we had, but part of me felt guilty about it. Like I was depending on him.
Being near him made me feel at ease. Something that was taken away when he left for tour.
The first couple of days were manageable, but as time ticked by, my anxiety started to kick in again.
It wasn’t like I was having panic attacks left right and centre, but I felt more on edge. Going to supermarkets began to be the most stressful part of my week. I never interacted with people there anyway, so my anxiousness felt unnecessary.
 My stress levels increased the longer that Noah was away, and part of me felt guilty about it, which only made things worse.
I shouldn’t need to depend on Noah to keep my anxiety at bay,  I needed to learn how to deal with it on my own.
He called me every night and after every show to talk about our days and just  spend time together, which was the highlight of my day, but it was still hard being so far away from him. On top of that, our calls got shorter and shorter the more my anxiety took hold of me.
I became paranoid that he would leave me since the calls had been keeping him awake into the early hours of the morning, touring would be easier for him if he didn’t have a girlfriend waiting for him at home, and who would want to be with someone who can barely make it out of the house without freaking out.
In an attempt to break out of this crushing feeling, I invited Jesse out for lunch. We went to a beautiful café that was independently run by a lovely woman called Katie, who was hoping to add a small bookstore to the side of the café since many of her customers just came to the café to read.
Jesse’s ears perked up at the mention of this and he began to ask her questions about the books she liked, clearly flirting, but it was nice seeing him so enthusiastic about something like this. It put me at ease knowing that Jesse was the talkative one, therefore I wouldn’t have to do much other that sit and enjoy my iced tea and blueberry muffin, which were both absolutely divine.
I went to bed that night feeling peaceful, which was something that I hadn’t felt in a very long time.
Noah had called that night, but I was too tired to answer, so instead I sent him a simple text.
I’m too tired to call, but I can’t wait to hear from you tomorrow. I love you.
I awoke refreshed and well-rested which was a feeling that I welcomed with open arms.
My mind and body was freed from any stress or anxiety, which was a rare occurrence since Noah had been on tour.
Getting ready for the day felt even better. I took a long shower before doing my skincare, blow-drying my hair and putting on my makeup. I felt clean. I felt good. Fuck that, I felt amazing.
The only thing missing was a tall, tattooed man wrapping his arms around my waist as I went through the steps of my skincare routine and quizzing me on what each item did.
Shaking that thought from my head before it saddened me, I went about my day.
Jesse was sat on the sofa watching Star Wars whilst making awful lightsaber noises, making me laugh at him as I went to the kitchen to make myself a coffee.
“You got any plans today?” Jesse asked.
“Not really, I was thinking about going shopping. I need some new concealer so I was thinking about heading to Sephora.” I said with a shrug, sipping my warm coffee.
“Can I come?” He asked.
“Yeah of course.” I said with a smile.
Spending time with Jesse had really been my saving grace since Noah was away. He had rapidly become my partner in crime. So much so that we had made as many objects that we could in Noah and Jolly’s home studio upside down, simply because their reaction would be priceless.
“Yes!” Jesse exclaimed, making me laugh.
Once I had finished my coffee, the two of us set out to the shopping mall to spend way too much money, as we usually did.
Our little outing had gone excellently well until we were leaving Sephora.
A girl who looked about nineteen, bumped into me. Granted, it was completely my fault as I was so engrossed in conversation with Jesse that I didn’t see her coming at all.
“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” She snarled.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry! It’s completely my fault, I wasn’t looking-“ I began to apologise.
“Save it. You’re Noah Sebastian’s girlfriend aren’t you?” She asked with a smirk.
Fuck.
The girl quickly took a photo of Jesse and I before walking away.
“Twitter is going to love it when I post this. Think of the cheating rumours!” She called over her shoulder with an evil smirk as she walked away.
My heart began to race.
Oh no.
Noah was away.
He would see the photos.
Oh shit he’s going to think I’ve actually cheated on him.
With his roommate and friend none the less.
Jesse didn’t say anything, but simply ushered me back to the car park and drove me home, completely ignoring the rest of the day that we had planned.
My body went into shut down.
My eyes stared in front of me.
My breathing quickened, making my chest hurt.
My heart raced.
Oh god.
I was having a panic attack.
I tried to calm myself down by playing Tetris on my phone. It usually helped take my mind off of it.
It didn’t work.
Before I knew it, I was curled up on Noah’s side of the bed with the lights off.
Jesse knew what to do if this happened since Noah had given him a brief crash course, but it wasn’t really helping.
I needed Noah.
Time flew by, or did it crawl by? I couldn’t tell.
Large hands stroked my hair. I could hear a heart beating.
Who was it?
The scent of Dior Sauvage began to fill my nostrils as I looked up and saw Noah’s angelic features looking down at me.
A lone tear escaped my eye as relief washed over me.
He was home.
“Don’t speak baby, just relax.” He whispered. “Jesse called and told me what happened. I was on my way home to see you anyway, so I don’t want you to worry about that. You’re safe. That girl’s post got deleted after Matt and Davis sassed her into deleting it.”
That made me laugh, which made Noah’s delicate smile widen.
“I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.” He whispered.
No matter what happened in my life, Noah would always be my safe space. I felt calm in his arms. I felt at peace, which was becoming rare for me.
As long as I had Noah, I would be okay.
Because he had me.
No matter what.
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hottiesforhockey · 2 hours ago
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may the best brother win pt 4⎜hughes brothers
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pairings: quinn hughes x afab!reader ⎜luke hughes x afab!reader ⎜ jack hughes x afab!reader ⎜ genre: romance ⎜bachelorette-esque situations ⎜angst? ⎜friends - to - lovers warnings: not much tbh ⎜very angsty ⎜happy ending ⎜ synopsis: you have been friends with the hughes brothers for years - but why does this summer feel so different? word count: 6k authors note: this is the final chapter of may the best brother win! I know a lot of you had thoughts on who she should end up with so I hope too many people don't hate me for my choices! I hope you all enjoyed reading (cause I know I enjoyed writing) and will continue to support me with my work going forwards! Feel free to check out my upcoming list to see what I'm working on next! pt 1 ⎜pt 2 ⎜ pt 3 ⎜
(unedited)
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It’s close to two in the morning when you finally slide out of Luke’s grip, replacing your body with a firm pillow which he snuggles straight into, a delighted smile on his face. Your frown deepens as you tiptoe around the room, placing as many of your belongings as you can manage into the suitcase - zipping it up as quietly as possible before pulling on Luke’s oversized hoodie and the pair of sweatpants you had left out, your phone dinging with the confirmation of your flight back home. 
You look over Luke still fast asleep in the bed one more time as you let out a long sigh, silently walking towards the bed leaning down to push his unruly curls away from his face. “Please don’t be mad.” You whisper into the quiet night, placing a soft kiss against his hairline before tugging the blankets further up his body and sneaking out of the room with your belongings in tow. 
You’re barely down the stairs when you notice the soft glow coming from the entry room - someone is awake and judging by the silence it has to be Quinn. You knew he had a tendency to stay up late at night, enjoying the quiet of the world before eventually tucking himself into bed - you just never thought tonight would be the night he stayed up later then usual. You let out another sigh as you continue your way down the stairs. 
“You’re leaving?” Quinns voice is quiet, a soft lamp besides him the only thing illuminating the room as you place your suitcase by the front door - glancing down at your phone as you track the uber. 
“I have to, Quinn.” The desperation in your tone flings Quinn from his seat in the armchair - his steps leading him towards you before he can even think about it. You take two steps back as he gets close enough to reach you - his own feet finally pausing as he takes you in. 
Wrapped up in sweatpants and Luke’s hoodie, you hair pulled back from your face and all your belongings sitting at your feet. 
“I’m coming with you.” Quinn says on a long sigh, his hands pushing his soft hair away from his forehead, his face starting to crumble slightly as he nods his head in determination. 
“No.” You whisper, your phone dinging with the notification that your uber was 2 minutes away. “I need you to stay - someone has to stop them from ripping each other apart, from ripping themselves apart.” You explain, letting out a shaky sigh as you take a few steps towards him, lifting yourself up to press a soft kiss against his cheek. 
“I’m sorry that I have to ask you to do this, Quinn.” You take one step back. “I’m sorry that you have to be the one to fix things, again.” You take another step back. “I’m sorry.” You whisper as you pick up your suitcase again, hearing Quinn let out a soft groan. 
“Just—” He starts, “Just tell me when you get home safe” He says, his teeth chewing on his bottom lip, “I just need to know that you’re okay.” 
“I will.” You agree, looking over the oldest Hughes brother one more time before sneaking out the front door, shutting it behind you with barely a sound as you slide into your uber, letting out a stifled sob as you hold your hand to your mouth, watching the house disappear in the review mirror, watching everything you’d even know be left behind. 
+
+
“Where is she?” Quinn groans as he pulls himself in a sitting position - he had waited for the rest of the night for your updates, perched in his favourite arm chair the glow of the lamp the only thing keeping him company as he waited for your message. 
number 1 fan 🪭: just arrived at the airport - probably won’t be home till lunchtime but I’ll keep you posted. 
number 1 fan 🪭: I’m sorry. 
celebrity crush ♥️: don’t be sorry, just be safe. 
Quinn had responded to your message without a second thought - he didn’t want apologies, he wanted you to come home even thought a part of him knew this was what you needed - the past week had turned into a shit fight so quickly, none of you really anticipating how a fun bet would turn into a broken household. 
“All of her stuff is gone?” Luke shouts again, Quinn can hear the banging of doors as Luke races around the house trying to find you, the desperation evident in the way he comes bolting down the stairs next, his eyes meeting Quinns. Quinn isn’t entirely sure what Luke sees in his expression but his younger brothers face drops, his mouth dropping into a frown as he stumbles on the words he’s trying to get out. 
“Quinn, where is she— tell me she didn’t leave.” Luke begs, his voice cracking on the last word.
Quinn sighs deeply, running his hand over his face before locking eyes with Luke. “She’s gone.”
“Why didn’t you stop her?” Luke’s tone is accusatory, frustration and fear lacing his words.
“She needed space, Luke. We all saw it. She couldn’t keep doing this… to herself, to us.” Quinn’s voice is calm but firm, his gaze unwavering. Luke shakes his head, pacing the room. 
“No, no. I can fix this. I have to fix this. I’ll call her—I told her I’d fix it.” Luke lets out a shaky breath, his fingers tangling in his hair, “She didn’t even give me a chance to fix it.” 
“Don’t.” Quinn steps in front of Luke, stopping him in his tracks. “Give her time. The last thing she needs is pressure from us right now.” Luke’s shoulders slump, defeat written all over him. 
“I didn’t want her to leave… She didn’t even say goodbye.”
“She was upset, Luke.” Quinn places a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder. “She did what was best for her and we have to be okay with that.” Luke nods slowly, his jaw clenched. 
“How are you so calm right now?” Luke says, his gaze shooting up the stairs as they both hear the sound of Jack’s door swinging open. 
“What the hell is all the commotion about?” Jack mumbles as he takes heavy steps down stairs. 
“I’m not calm, Luke — I’m freaking out but she’s an adult she knows how to take care of herself and we need to trust her.” Quinn tries to explain clearly, not used to the sight of his youngest brother being so genuinely furious. Luke was the loveable one, he was fun and energetic but the way he was glaring at Jack made the pit in Quinn’s stomach grow. 
“Luke, don—” 
“This is your fault.” Luke sneers as Jack comes into view, the middle brother confused by the sudden aggression. 
“What’s my fault?” Jack asks cautiously, his brows furrowed as he looks between his brothers.
“She’s gone because of you,” Luke accuses, stepping closer to Jack, his fists clenched at his sides. “You’re the one who started all of this. The stupid bet, the arguments—everything. You pushed her away.” Jack’s expression shifts from confusion to guilt. He opens his mouth to defend himself but no words come out. Instead, he looks to Quinn for some sort of backup, but Quinn remains silent, his gaze heavy with disappointment.
“Luke, stop,” Quinn finally says, his voice firm but not harsh. “We’re all to blame. We let things get out of hand. Don’t put this all on Jack.”
“He’s the one who made her feel like she was doing something wrong!” Luke’s voice rises, cracking with emotion. “She was so worried about what he thought and about making him mad and all he did was make it worse.” 
Jack flinches at the words, his shoulders slumping. “I didn’t mean to…” he mumbles, his voice barely audible.
“But you did, you called her a slut,” Luke snaps. “And now she’s gone.” The room falls into silence, the weight of Luke’s words hanging in the air. Jack drops onto the couch, burying his face in his hands. Quinn sighs, running a hand through his hair as he watches his brothers fall apart.
“We can fix this,” Quinn says softly, breaking the silence. “But we need to give her time. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”
Luke shakes his head, tears brimming in his eyes. “What if she doesn’t?”
“She will,” Quinn says with quiet certainty. “But we need to be better for her when she does. No more bets, no more fights.”
Jack lifts his head, his eyes red-rimmed. “Do you really think she’ll come back?”
Quinn nods. “I do. But it won’t be because we beg her to. It’ll be because she wants to. Because she feels safe here again.” The sound of Quinn’s phone buzzing breaks the tense silence. He quickly pulls it out of his pocket, his heart racing as he sees your name flash across the screen.
number 1 fan 🪭: just boarded my flight. i’ll text when i land.
Quinn exhales shakily, typing back a quick response.
celebrity crush ♥️: okay. Fly safe.
He stares at the screen for a moment, hoping for more, but no other messages come through. He pockets his phone and looks back at his brothers. “She’s okay, she just got on her flight.” Quinn updates the brothers, Luke letting out a breath of relief as he slumps against the couch, his glare focused on Jack as Quinn runs his fingers through his hair, for what seems to be the thousandth time that night.  Luke’s phone dings next, the youngest brother ripping it out of his pocket as he stares down at the message his frown unchanging but his posture relaxing a little.
bestie boo 👻 : Hey Luke, just thought I’d let you know that I’m okay - I’m sorry I up and left out of nowhere and I’m sorry I never said goodbye, but just know leaving you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I know you’re worried but this isn’t goodbye forever I just need to clear my head a little, so don’t be too harsh on your brothers - I’ll message you later, promise. 
Lukey pookie 🐥 : Just don’t leave me for too long - I can come to you. 
Luke knows he’s coming off as desperate.
But he is desperate. 
Luke’s head perks up at the sound of Jack’s phone dinging, his brother hesitantly pulling it out of his pocket as he lets out a long sigh, a whimper sitting in the back of the throat as he drops it back in his lap. 
“Well what does it say?” Luke pries, his brother owes him this - owes them all this. 
“She said I forgive you, I hope you can forgive me.” Jack lets out a low growl of frustration as he pushes himself up from his seat. “I can’t let her leave it like this, I’m going after her.” He grumbles, stomping his way to the front door for his keys, his hands shaking as he tucked them into his pocket. 
“No, you’re not.” Quinn cuts in, standing in front of the front door as both brothers look at him like he’s got two heads, their mouths falling open as he crosses his arms over his chest. “She’s asking us for one thing and we are going to give it to her, whether you like it or not.” Quinn’s fingers reach for his hair again but he drops them, “Both of you go take a breather, she’ll let us know when she’s home and then we can go from there.” All the brothers nod, Luke being the first to leave, his long legs carrying him out of the house before anyone can second guess it - Jack leaves next dragging himself back up the stairs to his room, leaving Quinn back where he started the night in his arm chair with the lamp still glowing a soft yellow. 
His phone dings again in his hand. 
number 1 fan 🪭: I love you all, I hope you know that. 
It’s the first time in years Quinn has cried as hard as he does in that arm chair. 
+
+
“What do you mean you’re not going back to Michigan?” Your mums voice carries through your headphones as you roughly chop the vegetables in front of you. “What happened? I don’t understand why you left in the first place.” Your mother continues, not stopping as you place your knife back on the chopping board letting out a long sigh. 
“It’s complicated, but I feel like maybe have the summer apart will help mend things, give everyone some space to think.” You explain, rolling your eyes as your mum continues to try to convince you to start heading back to Michigan, claiming her mothers intuition is telling her it’s the right choice, her words only pausing at the ringing of your intercom. 
“Look, I’ve got to go but I’ll call you back later.” You say, quickly bidding your mum goodbye as you hang up the phone call, slipping your headphones around your neck before walking over to your front door, pressing the buzzer to let the delivery driver in. “Must be the amazon guy.” You shrug, waiting until your hear the loud knock at the door. 
Luke stands there, drenched from the rain, his hoodie clinging to him, water dripping from the ends of his curls. His eyes — tired, desperate, and stormy — lock onto yours, and for a long, breathless moment, neither of you speaks.
“You weren’t going to call.” His voice is low, rough around the edges. There’s no question in his tone — just a quiet statement of fact.
Your throat tightens. “I thought it’d be easier this way.”
“Easier for who?” His jaw clenches as he steps inside without waiting for an invitation, the door closing behind him with a soft click. The silence stretches thin, like a wire pulled taut, ready to snap. “Because it sure as hell hasn’t been easier for me.”
You swallow hard, wrapping your arms around yourself as if that might shield you from the intensity of his stare. “What do you want me to say, Luke?”
“I want you to tell me why you left,” he says, his voice cracking slightly. “I want to know why you didn’t even give me a chance to fix things.”
Your chest tightens painfully. “I didn’t think there was anything left to fix.”
His eyes narrow, frustration flickering across his face. “That’s bullshit, and you know it.” Your resolve wavers under his gaze. You take a step back, needing distance, but he follows. There’s nowhere to run — no place to hide from the weight of his presence.
“Everything was falling apart,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “The fights, the tension… It felt like we were breaking, Luke. I couldn’t keep pretending everything was okay. I couldn’t pretend like it wasn’t my fault.” Luke lets out a low scoff at your words, his head shaking as he continues to step towards you. 
“You didn’t have to leave.” His voice softens, the anger bleeding out, replaced by something more vulnerable. 
Tears prick at your eyes, and you shake your head. “I was scared.”
“Of what?” he asks, stepping closer again, his tone more pleading than demanding now.
“Of losing you,” you admit, your voice barely audible. “Of losing what all of us had before the stupid bet, we were best friends, Luke and now Jack can’t even look at me.” Luke exhales shakily, running a hand through his wet hair.
“You could never lose me, and Jack—” He pauses, a grimace on his face, “Jack’s complicated.”
“So you all keep saying.” You sigh, moving the piece of hair that’s falls onto your face, you look away, your gaze falling to the floor. “You deserve better then me, you all do and maybe it’s best if we all just take a bre—.”
“Stop.” His voice is firm, pulling your attention back to him. His eyes are burning with emotion, and when he speaks again, his voice is raw. “Don’t tell me what I deserve. Don’t decide for me. I’m not some fragile thing you need to protect.”
Your hands tremble at your sides. “Luke—”
“No.” He takes another step forward, so close now you can feel the warmth radiating off him despite the cold rain soaking his clothes. “You don’t get to walk away and tell me it’s for my own good. You don’t get to leave without saying goodbye and pretend like it was some noble choice.” His words cut deep, hitting every raw nerve you’ve been trying to ignore. 
The tears you’ve been holding back finally spill over, and your voice cracks as you say, “I didn’t know what else to do.” Any hint of Luke’s anger dissolves completely from his body as he steps towards you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, your sobs muffled in his chest. 
“Why didn’t you stay? We could’ve talked about this sooner instead of you just keeping yourself all cooped up in this stupid apartment.” Luke sighs, his chin perched on the top of your head as he rocks you back and forth letting you cry into the fabric of his hoodie. 
“I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me,” you whisper, your voice muffled against Luke’s chest. “After everything that happened, I thought it was easier if I just… disappeared for a while.” Luke pulls back slightly, just enough to cup your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing away your tears. His expression is soft, tender, but there’s a fire in his eyes that you can’t ignore.
“Do you really think so little of me?” he asks quietly. “Do you think I’d just let you walk away without a fight?” You shake your head, your hands gripping the front of his hoodie. 
“It wasn’t about you, Luke. It was about me. I couldn’t handle the guilt, the pressure—everything just felt so overwhelming.”
Luke takes a deep breath, his hands dropping to his sides. “I get that. I do. But you can’t make these kinds of decisions alone. We’re supposed to be a team.” The word “team” hits you harder than you expect, and for a moment, you’re both silent, the weight of everything unspoken hanging in the air. Luke steps back, running a hand through his wet curls, shaking his head.
“Jack’s a mess,” he says suddenly, breaking the silence. “He’s been beating himself up since the second you left. He knows he messed up. Hell, we all did..” You sigh, rubbing your temples. “He doesn’t leave his room, Quinn puts food outside his door and it’s usually gone so at least we know he’s eating.” Luke lets out a bitter laugh,  his eyes locking with yours, “I’m not trying to guilt trip you or anything, I just—” He pauses, a frown growing as he thinks of what to say, “I just want you to know that he wants the chance to fix things.” 
“I don’t know how to fix things with Jack. He said some things… things that hurt more than I’d like to admit.”
Luke nods solemnly. “I know. And he’s probably not going to apologise the way you want him to. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. He just… he needs time.”
“Time,” you echo, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. “That’s all anyone ever says. Give it time. But what if time isn’t enough?”
“It will be.” Luke’s voice is steady, unwavering. “Because we’re not giving up on you. None of us are. You mean too much to us to let this be the end.” Your heart aches at his words, the sincerity in his voice cutting through the walls you’ve built around yourself. You want to believe him. You want to believe that things can be fixed, that you can find your way back to the life you had before everything fell apart.
But the doubt still lingers.
“I’m scared,” you admit, your voice trembling. “I’m scared that things won’t ever be the same again. That I’ve ruined everything.” Luke steps closer again, taking your hands in his. 
“Nothing is ruined, I promise… just give me a chance to show you.” Luke’s brows furrow, his eyes pleading with you as his thumbs brushing against your cheeks. 
“Okay.” 
“Okay?” You nod in response, not missing the way Luke’s face lights up, his body almost vibrating with excitement as a smile grows on your own face. 
“Let’s go home.” Luke says, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering to life as you nod softly. 
+
+
Quinn shoots up from his seat by the table, his laptop lighting up the almost dark room as the front door opens. “Luke?” He calls out - slowly making his way out of the dining room. Luke had left two days ago not being able to bear being left alone in the house any longer - the youngest brother infatuation with you stemming deeper then anyone had realised. 
“Did you manage to talk to her? Is she okay?” Quinn calls out again, his frustration building as his younger brother ignores him. 
Maybe she didn’t let him in? 
Maybe he’s angry because she said she’s never coming back? 
Quinn’s mind is running a million miles an hour as he steps into the entry way, his whole body freezing as he takes in the smaller then his brother’s figure in the hall, the suitcase by your side, your hair pulled back from your face as you shoot him a shy smile. 
“Hi.” 
Quinn stares at you, frozen in place as if you might vanish if he blinks too hard. His lips part slightly, but no words come out. Instead, his eyes flicker to the suitcase by your side, then back to you. It’s the longest few seconds of your life, his silence weighing heavily in the air between you.
“Hi,” you repeat softly, your voice tentative, uncertain. The sound seems to jolt Quinn out of his stupor. He steps forward, his brows knitting together, but not in anger. His expression is more cautious, concerned.
“You’re here?” he finally manages, his voice quiet, almost disbelieving. His eyes scan your face as if trying to convince himself that you’re real.
You nod, biting your lip. “I wasn’t sure if I should come.”
Quinn shakes his head slowly, his gaze softening. “I’m glad you did.” His voice is gentle, without any trace of the bitterness you had feared. He steps closer, his hands in his pockets. “We’ve been worried about you. All of us.”
Tears prick at your eyes, and you look away. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. I just… I needed space. Everything was falling apart, and I didn’t know how to fix it.”
Quinn nods slowly, his expression thoughtful. “I get that. Sometimes things get too heavy, and you need to step back. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt—it did—but I understand why you felt you had to go.”
Your chest tightens with emotion. “Thank you for saying that.”
“Jack’s upstairs,” Quinn says, tilting his head toward the stairs. “He’s been… well, he hasn’t been handling things great. But he’s missed you. A lot.”
You nod, wiping a tear from your cheek. “I need to see him.”
Quinn offers a small, reassuring smile. “Go ahead. He needs this as much as you do.” Taking a deep breath, you pick up your suitcase and head toward the stairs. Each step feels heavier than the last, your heart pounding in your chest. Memories flood your mind—of laughter, of late-night conversations, of the bond you once shared with Jack. And of the way things shattered.
When you reach the top of the stairs, you pause outside Jack’s door. The familiar sight sends a fresh wave of emotion crashing over you. You lift your hand to knock, but hesitate, your fingers trembling.
What if he doesn’t want to see me?
What if he slams the door in my face?
Summoning every ounce of courage you have, you knock softly.
For a long, agonising moment, there’s no response. Just when you’re about to turn away, the door creaks open.
Jack stands there, his hair disheveled, dark circles under his eyes. He looks tired, worn down, and for a moment, neither of you speaks.
“Hey,” you say softly, your voice trembling. Jack’s eyes meet yours, and you see the storm of emotions swirling within them—anger, hurt, longing. But instead of lashing out, his expression softens almost immediately.
“Hey,” he replies, his voice rough from disuse. He steps aside, opening the door wider. “Ummm, do you want to come in?.” You nod as you step inside, your heart in your throat. The room feels suffocatingly familiar, the memories hanging in the air like ghosts. Jack closes the door behind you, leaning against it, his arms crossed over his chest.
“I didn’t think you’d actually come back to be honest,” he says quietly.
“I wasn’t sure if I would,” you admit, your hands fidgeting nervously. “But Luke told me what been happening.” Jack lets out a long breath, his body rigid as the two of your stare at each other from across the room, his arms crossing over his chest as he nods slowly. 
“So you came because he told you to?” Jack assumes, his excitement dropping a little. 
“No, I came because I wanted to — because I care about you, Jack and neither of us deserves to hurt.” You explain, hesitating before continuing, “But the things you said, and the way you treated me, it wasn’t okay Jack and I need you to understand that if we are going to put this behind us.” 
Jack lets out a long breath, his shoulders sagging. “I know, and I’ve thought about it a lot and I know now that this things I said to you were because I was feeling a little rejected.” He says softly, letting out a small chuckle as he adds, “And we all know I don’t do well with rejection.” 
You blink, surprised by his words. “Jack…” He shakes his head. 
“No, let me say this. I messed up. I was angry, hurt, and I said things I shouldn’t have. I pushed you away when I should have been pulling you closer. I thought I was protecting myself, but all I did was hurt you. And my brothers…” He lets out a long breath, “I haven’t made things easy for them either and I’m sorry that I never took the time to explain everything before we got to this point.” He notes, his arms finally falling from in front of his chest, one hand raising to push his growing hair away from his face. 
Tears well up in your eyes again, and you take a shaky step closer. “I hurt you too. I didn’t mean to, but I did. And I’m so sorry for that.” Jack smiles but takes a step away from you, your hands retreating back to your chest as you look at him in surprise. 
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, “I can’t.” Your teeth catches your lip as you nod, Jack letting out a groan as he watches your chin tremble. 
“You and Luke are perfect for each other.” Jack says quickly, a sad smile on his face, “You know he got you a lego flower bouquet cause he knows you’d prefer that to real flowers, he’s also has that polaroid you two took on the boat in his wallet for like five years now.” Jack explains, rocking back and forth on his heels as he runs his fingers through his hair again. “It’s just killing me that, that couldn’t be us because it was never meant to be us.” 
Tears spill freely down your cheeks now, your heart twisting painfully at Jack's words. You open your mouth to say something—anything—but nothing comes out. The weight of his confession hangs between you both, raw and unfiltered.
Jack's gaze drops to the floor as he continues, his voice quieter now, laced with a bittersweet nostalgia. "I thought if I held on tight enough, maybe I could make it work. But it’s like holding sand, you know? The harder you grip, the faster it slips through your fingers."
You take a deep breath, wiping your cheeks with trembling hands. "Jack... I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted any of this to happen."
He looks up, his eyes glassy but steady. "I know you didn’t. And I’m not mad anymore. It took me a while to get here, but I understand now. You weren’t mine to keep. You never were." His words are a punch to the gut, but there's no malice in them—only acceptance and quiet resignation. You step forward again, closing the distance between you, and this time Jack doesn’t move away. 
You reach out tentatively, your fingers brushing his arm. "You’ll always be important to me, Jack."
He nods, his lips pressing into a tight line to keep his emotions in check. "And you’ll always be important to me. I don’t regret loving you. I just regret holding on too long when I should’ve let go." The silence stretches between you, but it feels different now—softer, less suffocating. Finally, Jack breaks it with a shaky laugh. 
"God, I sound like a bad country song, don’t I?"
A tearful chuckle escapes your lips, and you shake your head. "A little bit."
He grins, and for the first time, it feels real. "Maybe I should write one. Call it 'Wrong Time, Right Feelings' or something equally tragic." You laugh again, this time without tears, and Jack’s shoulders visibly relax. The tension in the room lifts ever so slightly, replaced by a shared understanding of what you both lost—and what you both still have.
Jack sighs, running a hand through his hair once more. "Luke’s downstairs, huh?"
“Probably,” you whisper. "He wanted to give us time to sort things out.”
Jack nods, his expression bittersweet. "Good. He deserves this. You both do." There’s a pause, and then Jack reaches out, pulling you into a hug. His arms wrap around you tightly, holding on just long enough to say goodbye without words. When he pulls back, there’s a glimmer of peace in his eyes.
"Take care of him," Jack says softly. "He never puts himself first, so I’m glad that he has someone who will.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, nodding. "I will."
Jack steps back, hands on his hips as he offers you one last smile—sad, but genuine. "Go on, then. Don’t keep him waiting."
You turn to leave, your hand lingering on the doorknob for a moment. Before you open it, you glance back at Jack. "You’ll be okay, right?"
He tilts his head, a ghost of his playful smirk returning. "I’m a Hughes. We’re made of tough stuff." As you step out of the room and close the door behind you, you hear the soft click of the lock. Jack’s way of closing the chapter.
You make your way down the stairs, each step lighter than the last. The weight that had been pressing on your chest for so long feels like it’s finally lifting. When you reach the bottom, you see Quinn leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching you with a cautious but hopeful expression.
Luke’s eyes flick between you and Quinn as you descend the stairs, your footsteps soft but purposeful. His hands are shoved deep in his pockets, his shoulders tense with nervous energy. You can see it in the way he shifts his weight from one foot to the other—he’s bracing himself for something, though you’re not quite sure what.
Quinn leans casually against the wall, arms crossed, his expression carefully neutral. But there’s a knowing look in his eyes, like he’s already accepted whatever is about to happen. As you reach the bottom step, your gaze locks with Luke’s, and for a moment, the rest of the room fades away. It’s just the two of you—it always has been.
“How’d it go?” Quinn’s voice breaks the silence, his tone gentle, understanding. He’s giving you an out, a chance to speak first, but you don’t miss the way Luke stiffens at the sound of his brother’s voice.
“We’re okay,” you say softly, your words directed at Quinn, though your eyes never leave Luke. “Jack and I… we said what needed to be said.”
Quinn nods, offering a small, encouraging smile before stepping away from the wall. “Good. That’s good.” He glances at Luke, then back at you, his smile turning a little wry. “I’ll give you two some space.”
As Quinn walks away, heading toward the kitchen, Luke finally moves. He takes a hesitant step forward, his hands still buried in his pockets, his gaze flickering between the empty hallway where Quinn disappeared and your face.
“You don’t have to stay,” he blurts out suddenly, his voice tight with emotion. “If you… if you want to go after him, I get it.”
You blink, caught off guard. “What?”
Luke swallows hard, his jaw clenching as he looks down at the floor. “Quinn,” he says quietly. “I saw the way he looked at you when you came down. I… I know he’s always been there for you. He’s steady, reliable. He’s Quinn.”
A pang of sadness twists in your chest as you watch him, this boy who’s always been so sure of himself suddenly unsure and vulnerable. You step closer, but he doesn’t look up.
“Luke…”
“It’s okay,” he says quickly, cutting you off. “I mean, I’m not gonna lie and say it wouldn’t hurt, but… I’d get it. He’s… he’s Quinn. And me?” He lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “I’m the guy who’s always a little too much. Too loud, too impulsive, too everything.”
Your heart aches at the vulnerability in his voice. “Luke, stop.”
He finally looks up, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I don’t know how to be enough for you,” he whispers. “I’ve been trying for so long, but I keep thinking I’m just… not him. Not the guy you’d pick in the end.”
You step closer, your hands trembling slightly as you reach for his. He hesitates for a moment before letting you take them, his fingers curling around yours almost instinctively.
“You’ve always been enough,” you say softly, your voice steady despite the emotion bubbling beneath the surface. “It’s not about Quinn, or Jack, or anyone else. It’s about you. It’s always been about you.”
His grip tightens, like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “But what if I mess it up? What if I’m not what you need?”
“You don’t have to be perfect, Luke. I don’t want perfect. I want you.”
He stares at you, searching your face for any sign of doubt. When he finds none, a shaky breath escapes him, his shoulders sagging with relief. “I was so sure you’d pick him,” he murmurs. “I thought I was about to lose you.”
“You’re not losing me,” you whisper, squeezing his hands. “I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Luke lets out a quiet, broken laugh, the sound filled with equal parts disbelief and joy. “I’ve been such an idiot.”
“No,” you say gently, reaching up to brush a tear from his cheek. “You’ve been scared. So have I. But we’re here now, and that’s what matters.”
He leans into your touch, closing his eyes for a moment as if grounding himself in the feel of your hand against his skin. When he opens them again, there’s a flicker of hope there, tentative but real.
“You mean it?” he asks quietly. “You’re staying?”
“I’m staying,” you confirm. “And we’ll figure it out together. No more second-guessing, no more running.”
Luke exhales a long breath, his lips curving into a small, grateful smile. “Okay. Together.”
“Together,” you repeat, your voice firm.
Quinn’s voice drifts from the kitchen. “Are you two done being gross, or should I stay in here forever?”
You both laugh, the sound light and carefree. Luke wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as you turn toward the kitchen.
“Also I heard something about a lego set.” You murmur, Luke letting out a bark of laughter as he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head. 
“You can have any lego sets that you want.” 
As you walk together toward the future—hand in hand, hearts finally in sync—you know that this is where you’re meant to be. 
With Luke. 
Always with Luke.
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nick-writes-stuff · 3 hours ago
Text
One-sided Estrangement
Hwang In-ho x gn!reader
summary: You had been friends with In-ho as long as you can remember, up until he suddenly disappeared without a word. You end up participating in the games and win. On your ride back to the mainland, In-ho tries to reconcile with you. It doesn't go well. (part 1 on my page)
! warnings: hurt/no comfort, childhood friends to strangers speedrun, discussing canon-typical violence, considerable amount of cursing
a/n: after the feedback on the last fic, i've decided to make two different endings for my last fic. this one can be read stand-alone, but there is some context you'd be missing. hope you enjoy!
The attempted mutiny of the games organized by Gi-hun was a rather short-lived one. It wasn't hard for In-ho to fake Young-il's death and retake his position as the Front Man. The fact that any of the players thought they had a fighting chance was laughable. A few hungry, injured, and sleep deprived players with a limited supply of ammo had no chance against the military sized forces at the game's disposal. While there were some casualties, there was hardly a scratch on the operation.
Ever since he had decided to pull you out of the games, he finally felt a shred of humanity that he thought he had lost long ago. There was something to look forward to for the first time since long before the games.
He found himself watching you far more than he would have for other players. It was like his eyes immediately scanned for your form on the cameras. Every time he entered the control room, his eyes darted to the tile in the floor where your picture remained lit. He didn't know what he would do if he came back to find it darkened.
He had to wait for an opportunity. It wasn't like he could just have the workers escort you out of the dormitory. If he was going to do it, it had to be during a game. It would be easiest to do if you were supposed to be eliminated. They'd done this before with Il-nam. All it took was a stray gunshot and an announcement with your number. They also would have had the chance to do so if you were somehow not picked during a game. He thought he remembered something like that happening in the 2021 games, but it wasn't a common occurrence at all.
He had been preparing everything in order to pull you out, but he hadn't even considered the fact that you would win. He wasn't doubting your capabilities, not in the slightest. He knew you could hold your own in a fight, and you had a clever wit. He just never thought you would be able to dish out the sort of violence needed to actually make it to the end. But here you were in the back of the limo blindfolded and bound, of course. It was the typical procedure. The driver had just left the ferry when he noticed you started to stir.
In-ho sat across from you in the back of the limo, mask off with a glass in his hand. He took a swig before beginning to speak.
"Congratulations, Player 284." He said, monotone with little enthusiasm.
Your eyes fluttered against the cloth of the blindfold, and your vision remained dark. You didn't react for a moment before mumbling, "You're the guy that Gi-hun mentioned." It wasn't a question, just a statement of fact.
He chuckled softly. "An astute observation." He said.
"Why am I awake?" You asked. This seemed odd. They could easily have just shoved you out of the car while you were unconscious. It also didn't make sense to have the man in charge of the operation here during the drop-off, although you knew that he would be from Gi-hun's story. Seemed like too many risks.
He took another sip of his drink. "I like to ask the winner a few questions before they go. They always give insight and constructive criticism that I couldn't get elsewhere." He said. It wasn't a lie, but you were definitely set to be awake far longer than other winners.
You scoffed. The idea of anyone giving constructive criticism was laughable, although you did think he was likely being sarcastic. "You wanna know what you can do next time?" You asked, your tone definitely seeming more stern than before.
"Precisely."
"Next time you can go fuck yourself." You spat.
He had to stop himself from chuckling. There's the spitfire attitude he remembered.
"Now, now Player 284. Do you want to go back to sleep? I can arrange that." He said. His tone was sharp, but his face remained neutral. He just wanted to get on with the conversation. Ever since he had begun to plan your reunion, he felt a spark of anticipation and excitement that he hadn't felt for a long time. The last time he did was when his wife first told him she was pregnant. Since then, there wasn't much of anything he looked forward to until now.
You stayed quiet for a few moments. You were weighing your options here. Did you want the drug induced peace and quiet, or did you want to stay alert but listen to his rhetoric? It was hard to choose, but you decided you wanted to take in as much info as you could. Maybe you could finish what Gi-hun started.
"What do you want?" You said, your tone almost defeated.
He never really did this before, but he figured out some basic questions about the experience to move the conversation toward his end goal. Simple stuff like your favorite game, the food quality, and the voting process. You gave short answers, never saying more than you needed to.
The final two questions were more focused on leading you toward the reveal. After your response to the first one, he didn't think you would take these questions well.
"Which elimination would you say affected you the most?" He asked, still monotonous thought he was intently engaged in the conversation.
The parts of your face not covered by the blindfold recoiled into a disgusted shock at his words. You wanted to give him a piece of your mind. You wanted to scream and say all 455 of them and that he's a monster for thinking this question wasn't horrific. But you didn't. You sat silently for a moment, long enough that he actually started to think you wouldn't answer him.
You had 455 to choose from, and while there were definitely some others in the running, your answer was obvious to you.
"Player 1."
He hummed in acknowledgment but didn't give off any verbal cues regarding his emotional state. His lips did curl into a smile, however. It was intriguing to him that despite the confrontation that occurred that day, his 'death' was the most effective. "Why's that?" He asked, pressing you for insight to your reasoning.
You tried not to look disgusted by his question. This was just another way to torture a player for more enjoyment. Why does he need to keep reminding you that everyone who was close to you was gone now?
You muttered, "He reminded me of someone I knew back home." You didn't want to elaborate further.
He waited a few moments to see if you would continue, but you stayed quiet. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" He probed.
"Why does it matter?" You said.
You weren't making this easy on him. "I was just looking for insight on emotional connections formed in the games." He said.
You had to take a deep breath to avoid losing your temper on him. As much as you wanted to give him a piece of your mind, you wanted to get as much information from this interaction as possible. "A good thing, I suppose." You murmured.
"Player 1 is one of the very few players who were eliminated outside of a game. This set of games had a lot of those." He said, trying to lead you towards explaining how you felt after he had 'been eliminated.' He almost wished he could have stayed in after the players' attempt at a coup. He could only imagine what they were thinking once they realized their mutiny failed.
You bit your tongue to stop words from flying out of your mouth. How could he act like that's an honorable distinction? He was really thinking of all of the players as statistics now. It made you sick. You paused for a moment to think of something to say that wouldn't get the tranquilizer gas turned on. "Probably for the best." you said.
That piqued his interest. "And why is that?"
"So I didn't have to see him die." You said, feeling your eyes tear up at the thought. Seeing Young-il die would have made you think about In-ho being dead. You hated thinking about the fact that he may be dead right now and you didn't even know. You tried to forget the fact that In-ho's situation even existed. Thinking about the circumstances tore you apart because he was either dead and gone or out there living life happily without you. You didn't know which was worse.
He couldn't help but smirk at the irony of your statement. You never saw him die because he didn't, obviously.
In-ho actually felt his heart skip a beat as he prepared to ask you his last question. Emotions of excitement and anticipation and anxiety were all breaking through his impenetrable facade he had maintained for years now. All of these emotions were bubbling up inside him, and the strangest part is that he kind of enjoyed it. He felt lighter and happier than he had been for a long time.
"I have one more question for you, Player 284." He began. Your posture relaxed somewhat. You were glad that this was finally almost over, and you wouldn't have to think about the most traumatic thing you experienced for much longer.
"Would you ever be able to forgive me for running the games?"
You tensed up. You were immediately on guard again. You were sick of this. You didn't want to deal with his bullshit. Is he really trying to get you to feel sorry for him? You went through hell just for the man in charge to dare to ask for forgiveness. He didn't even attempt to explain himself or his reasoning or even give a single apology. He just wants you to stroke his ego and tell him that his games work to indoctrinate people into his fucked-up perspective of the world.
The second he saw your body go rigid, he knew this wasn't going to end well.
"Why would I when you haven't even shown a single ounce of remorse?" You said through gritted teeth. Your shoulders shook as you took shaky breaths to try to keep your composure.
In-ho sighed softly. "If I did show remorse, would you forgive me?"
"It wouldn't be genuine, and you know that. If you felt a shred of remorse, you wouldn't be here running the games." You retorted. He could feel your glare pierce him through the blindfold.
He felt his mouth dry up as he realized that this may not go the way he planned. He finished the rest of the liquid in his glass before sitting it in one of the cup holders.
"You know, we're more alike than you think." He said, a slight chuckle escaping his lips as he realized the double meaning to that statement.
You scoffed at him. "Go to hell." You spat.
He continued to chuckle. "No, I'm serious." He continued before you could interject. "I played in the games and won. Eventually, I found my way back here and worked my way to my current position."
Your jaw dropped as you started to comprehend what he was saying. He went through this and decided it was a good thing to continue? He saw hundreds of people get murdered and decided to perpetuate the violence? You didn't care what his reasoning was; there was no way to justify that. The thought alone made you sick. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" You asked incredulously. You started to get paranoid about not being able to see. You pushed yourself as far back in your seat as you could in order to create some form of distance between you.
"You're asking the wrong questions." He said matter-of-factly. "The question is: what is wrong with the world?"
You only shook your head in response. You tried to control your breathing, closing your eyes even though the blindfold was obstructing your view anyway.
He continued on with a phrase that definitely made him sound preachy, but the motives behind his actions are important for the road to forgiveness you are starting down.
"Can you imagine how bad the outside world had to be for me to be okay with accepting the fact that all the bloodshed and violence in the games is better than what's outside? We're giving them a chance to-"
"You're killing them!" You interrupted, raising your voice.
"And what would happen to them outside of here? They were being hunted down by loan sharks and hardly living as they were. We gave them their chance to change their circumstances and lessen their suffering."
You scoffed. "Lessen their suffering?! You tormented them and used them as entertainment, and when you decided you were done playing with them, you killed them!" You couldn't believe how depraved he was. How could he believe that this was mercy?
His anticipation was starting to turn into anxiety. He wanted this to go well. He wanted to be able to connect with you again and have some sense of normalcy. He didn't think that his idealistic hope was going to be realized. "The same thing that happened here would happen out there. Here they were treated like equals. They all had a fair chance to succeed here regardless of their past mistakes. You of all people would-"
"Don't. Don't you dare imply you know anything about me because you don't." You spat.
In-ho chuckled. You went quiet at his reaction. You were still angry, but there was a growing fear that he was going to retaliate in some way.
"You know, it's funny you say that. Because I do know you." He couldn't help but smirk as he said that.
You swallowed hard. Your uneasiness only grew as you heard the leather seat creak underneath him. When you first felt the blindfold move, you flinched and instinctively moved away from him. He stopped you with a gentle hand on your cheek to hold you in place.
As the blindfold was pulled off, you turned your head slightly and closed your eyes due to the bright lights. You blinked a few times as your eyes got used to taking in light. You were almost scared to look at him. Typically, when the victim sees the perpetrator of a crime, they usually don't intend for the witness to make it out alive.
But you also knew that most likely any attempt to track him down would be futile. Gi-hun had been trying to find these guys for years, and he had just found the guy who recruits players. You probably wouldn't be able to do anything to stop the operation.
Words could not describe how you felt as you met his eyes. You first recognized him as Young-il, and you felt betrayed. He really had to drag this out and made you describe how you felt after you thought he died just to stroke his own ego.
But then you remembered the conversation you had with Young-il. He was so insistent on talking about who he reminded you of. His reactions just didn't make sense. Why did he care so much when you spoke about a man he never met?
You studied his face. You knew who he was, but he seemed almost unrecognizable. He didn't look like how you remembered In-ho looking when you saw him last, and he had definitely had time to care for his appearance after he stopped his role as a player. But his demeanor was also completely different than either man you remember. You would give anything for him to be some separate man who just happens to look like the others, but deep down, you knew the truth. In-ho was the Front Man. And the Front Man used the alias Young-il as a Player. And he played you. He played with your emotions just to get you to tell him how much you missed him. Then, just like the other players, he decided he was done playing and got rid of them.
Your breathing quickened as you started to comprehend what was happening. You were confused and angry and scared and sad and a million other emotions as your mind raced. How could he do this? How did the man who had risked his life in order to save his brother turn into this? A man who took countless of other's lives to fulfill his own messed-up view of the world. A man who saves through a slaughter.
As In-ho watched you, he quickly realized that this wasn't going to go the way he hoped.
When you finally regained control of your breathing, you were quiet. You didn't look him in the eye. You couldn't.
"Let me get this straight," you started. You were clearly angry, but your words were carefully chosen. "You chose to abandon everyone who loved you in order to run death games for rich assholes. You went through the same thing I just did, and afterward, you decided you enjoyed it and stayed to kill innocent people."
"I wouldn't say I enjoy it. I see the societal value in holding these games. It is really a way to offer a chance to those in need and better the world by taking out the trash, as my predecessor would say. After I won, I wanted to help people get the same chance I did." He said. His face remained neutral, and that only made you angrier.
You ignored the phrasing of 'taking out the trash' to focus on the bigger picture here. You couldn't help but chuckle. "See, this shows how different we are. Because I just won, but I just feel overwhelming guilt for the lives lost, and I want to go home to my family. Unlike you." You spat back. Then your face dropped as you realized something else.
"Oh my god, what will I tell your mother? I can't lie to her but I can't tell her this. I can't." You said, breathing quickening again. "And Jun-ho too. How will I..." You trailed off.
Jun-ho.
Jun-ho had went out on some investigation and came back half-dead with a bullet in his chest. He refused to talk about it, but he was clearly shaken up. You know he's been working with the captain who found him to find the island where it happened.
In-ho could see the pieces of the puzzle fit together in your mind. "No. No, no, no. You didn't. Tell me you didn't. You didn't shoot him. You didn't."
He didn't say anything. Why the fuck won't he say anything?
When did you start crying? You hadn't realized it until the tears dropped onto your still bound hands.
"I did what had to be done." He said, voice notably softer than he was speaking before.
That sentence broke something in you. "I wish you would have come to me." You murmured. You took a deep breath, shoulders shaking slightly as you tried not to break down. "But I also don't think I could have done enough to prevent this. I wasn't even enough for you to tell me where you went."
"But I'm here now. I'll admit it. I was avoiding you, my mother, and Jun-ho because I was a coward. I didn't want to admit I was struggling and when I fucked up I didn't want to tell you. It was easier to run off, and after she died, I didn't feel like I had any other purpose in life. But the games gave me that purpose. Gave me something to live for."
Your face quickly changed to a look of disgust. The spark of anger rekindled in your heart. "Something to live for, huh? Your friends and family weren't enough for you?" You snapped.
"I told you, I was a coward. Leaving was easier than explaining everything that happened. Even before I was a player, I didn't have intentions of coming back." He said, raising his voice somewhat.
Your jaw dropped into a look of surprise. You finally met his eyes with a gaze that perfectly captured the whirlwind of emotions you were dealing with.
"And then after the games, I knew I couldn't explain any of this. You'd all be horrified on where I got the money from, and you would never understand the hell I went through to get it." He paused for a moment, realizing the next words he was about to say would likely be a turning point in the encounter.
"But that won't be a problem for us anymore."
He was right. This was a turning point in the encounter.
"Are you really trying to recruit me right now?" You asked, words dripping with venom.
"That's not the word I would use. I'm saying that we can have an understanding-"
You scoffed. "An understanding?!"
He rolled his eyes, an action you clearly disliked according to your facial expressions. "Since we both have been through the games and won, there is no longer that rift in between us."
"Yeah, I wouldn't call it a rift. Right now, it's probably the size of the Grand Canyon." You muttered.
He sighed annoyedly. Why won't you just listen to him? You have to be trying to antagonize him at this point. His patience was quickly running thin. "I'm not asking you to participate in running the games. Hell, you can forget they exist for all that I care. All I'm saying is that we can give our relationship another chance now."
You chuckled in disbelief. "You're being serious?" You asked, the question only partially meant as a joke. When he didn't react, you knew he was being genuine. "You just put me through a fucking death game. You stood back and let that happen."
"I gave you a chance to change your life. You can live the life you wanted now without needing to worry about your father's loan sharks." He said quickly. Why couldn't you understand how he changed your life? He did you a favor. He was trying to make amends, but you were refusing to cooperate.
You laughed. "Do you really expect me to thank you?" You shook your head. "Whether you want to admit it or not, you purposefully put my life on the line." You took a deep breath as you made the hardest decision of your life. "If you can't accept responsibility or feel any shred of remorse, this is going to be the last time we speak. I won't say anything to your mother or your brother, but I can't do this." You said, voice wavering as you realized the finality of this encounter.
"What happened to you saying that you would do anything to get me back in your life? What happened to you saying you loved me?" Once the words left his mouth, he knew this was doomed. You were right. He was manipulating you. He just tried to use your emotions against you for his own gain. But ultimately, he wouldn't have done it differently if given the chance.
You opened your mouth in shock. It took you a moment to be able to speak. "I don't love you. Not anymore. The man I loved is gone." You said. You met his gaze for the last time. "I don't even know who you are anymore. You..."
You stopped talking as he rushed to put on his polygonal mask, scared of what that could mean for you. Was this it? Was he gonna kill you?
"What the hell are you-" You were interrupted by the loud hiss of the containers of gas leaking into the cab. In-ho's hand was hovering over a remote on one of the arm rests. You assumed his mask had a respirator in it. That's why he put it on. You started to get tired from breathing it in, just like when you started the games.
He was still a coward. He couldn't admit to what he did wrong, so he's shutting you out. You wanted to be angry at him. You wanted to tell him how much he ruined your life, both before and during the games. You haven't been the same person since he left, and knowing that he was making a conscious choice to leave again should piss you off to no end.
But you didn't. You stayed calm. Deep down, you only wanted one thing.
"You know, I still hope you'll be happy."
His eyes widened at your statement as your eyes started to close. But you didn't see him react at all. It wasn't much longer until you drifted into unconsciousness.
When the gas stopped flowing, the silence he was left in was deafening. He tried to stop his eyes from tearing up under the mask. He wasn't going to take it off regardless. He's not sure he ever would.
In a few hours, you would be waking up somewhere on the outskirts of Seoul. You would wake up with the debit card in your mouth, holding the 45 billion won you earned through your victory. Once the limo started driving off, the last piece of Hwang In-ho would be left behind. That man was gone, dead to all who knew him. Maybe it's for the best.
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Title: Middle of the Night
Rated: Teen
Word Count: 595
Characters: Logan Howlett, GN!Reader
Ao3 Link (Coming Soon)
A/N: I need cuddles, so I came up with this little bit. A surprise waking up to Logan in bed. Enjoy.
The haze of sleep begins to fade as you realize something woke you. You’re just not sure what yet. It isn’t until you shift that you find something very heavy across your back followed by humid air blowing across your neck. Goosebumps and a shiver run across your neck and down your back. Your confusion further awakens you as you try to pull yourself out of Morpheus’ grasp to find out what’s happening. It takes you a while as you find yourself going in and out of sleep. The next time you wake up, you find yourself lying on a very warm, soft but slightly rough and firm surface. You can feel the drool cooling on your cheek, knowing it’s on the surface but not caring. Not caring until you hear an amused huff of laughter from a man you work with. A man who has become your friend, probably your best friend. Someone is more than a man and just as deadly but sees you for you and you for him. Your mind rushes you awake as adrenaline pumps in your veins and your heart begins to pound.
You begin to sleepily shift to raise yourself but hear the man shush you running his hand through your hair, slightly tugging at the ends. You relax back against him, grumbling sleepily, having found a weakness of yours. You want to purr but are too tired.
“If I’d known it would be this easy to finally hold you, I’d have done this sooner,” he quietly rumbles against your ear.
Your brow slightly furrows at his words. You turn your head and find his lips mere centimeters from yours. He leans forward and gives a quick press of his lips to yours. You’ve concluded this is a dream and roll back over to go back to sleep. You tense up as you try to roll out of the man’s arms but his grip is gentle and immovable. You grunt your displeasure.
He chuckles in a whisper. He falls silent for a few minutes before asking, “Can I please keep holding you?”
You grunt noncommittally and relax in his hold. You shift against him, nuzzling against whatever skin your face finds of his, trusting him easily, and he allows you to move away as you readjust your sleep position. You slightly sit up just enough to move as you clumsily climb onto his torso, bury your face under his clavicle, breathe in his scent, and straddle his ridiculously sexy, rippling abdomen. You can feel him tense as you shift but ignore it. You take a deep breath, bringing your arms resting against his shoulders as if to encircle his neck and nuzzle against his chest. He relaxes a few seconds later and drags the blanket back over the both of you while he resettles on his back, chin to his chest with his arms laying across your back, watching you.
You can feel his gaze on you; mentally, you find it amusing. The big bad Wolverine is a cuddly teddy bear and you love it. Makes you suddenly wonder why he got into your bed. You make a note to ask in the morning. He probably had a nightmare. You’ve crawled into his bed before when you’ve had one so not surprised he has reciprocated. Feels good that he has.
Once your breathing evens out and your body fully relaxes against him, he buries his nose into your hair and breathes in your scent. He purrs, happily, finally able to have you in his arms when he wants.
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stars4noah · 2 days ago
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HALLEY'S COMET- six.
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{WARNINGS}: swearing, mention of a bar
w.c- 2,038
a.n- i'm gonna be so honest, chapter five was originally going to be the end of this series but i was driving and i had a crazy idea. enjoy more chapters because i don't think this story will be ending any time soon.
{TAGLIST}: @lacy1986 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard @chey-h @rumoured-whispers @oobleoob @dontwantthemoney @n0n3xsisting
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"i'll love you forever." he said softly.
"and always?" i asked
he laughed softly, nuzzling his face in my hair.
"and always, my love."
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"[y/n]. dude, come on. wake up." nicholas' voice broke through my hard slumber, jolting me awake. i furrowed my brows, sitting up slowly and looking around. i was on the tour bus. but why? i had just been on the couch with noah..
i ran a hand over my face, trying to gather my thoughts. we just finished a show. noah and i got into another argument. but this argument was different from the one in my dream. and then i left. no.. that part was a dream. i fell asleep.
it was all fake.
the music, the new album, the sex and the kisses and the 'i love you's. it was all fake. as much as i hated him, i felt a strange sense of disappointment down in my gut. it hit me like a train. this perfect life had been built up in my mind in the course of just a couple hours. was that really what i wanted? who was i kidding, of course it was. it was all i'd ever wanted in life. to be in love. to be happy. to be able to live out my dreams freely.
even though i definitely wasn't interested in the music industry.
"what, is she still sleeping?" i heard noah's voice getting closer, and i rolled my eyes as i jumped out of my bunk. "no, asshole. i'm awake."
"oh, she lives!" he said. "what were you even dreaming about? you've been tossing and turning and talking for the past 30 minutes." he said, his arms crossed.
"fuck off, noah." i grumbled, searching for some clothes for the show tonight.
"not until you learn how to do your job right."
i rolled my eyes, retreating to the bathroom to go and get ready.
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"i swear, it's like he lives to piss me off. doesn't he have anything better to do? like, i dunno, hook up with girls? make music? write lyrics? instead of fucking with me. it's annoying." i rambled to nicholas as i set up my camera, him standing beside me.
and then he suggested the most absurd thing ever.
"i dunno, [y/n], maybe he likes you."
i choked on nothing, my eyes widening. "are you insane? him? like me? never in a million years would that happen."
nicholas laughed softly. "i mean, the way he talks about you when you're not around says otherwise. it's always [y/n] this, [y/n] that. don't you see the way he stares at you when you're not looking? or how he put extra effort in when he knows you're gonna be closer to the stage?"
i stayed quiet. he kind of had a point. i never heard him speak about me or felt his stares, but i could tell that he always dressed nicer or sang better when i was closer.
maybe..
no. hell no. just because i had that stupid dream doesn't mean a thing. i hate him, he hates me. and that's final.
"you're delusional." i said.
"you're in denial." he retorted, walking off to go get ready for the show.
as i continued to set up, i felt a pair of eyes on me. i looked up briefly, noticing noah looking at me before he quickly looked away, going to talk with some girl.
why was i jealous? it's not like we were together. not like i liked him. not like i imagined a future with him every time my insomnia kept me awake at night.
whatever. it didn't matter.
NOAH'S POV.
i finished up my conversation with some random girl whose name i couldn't even remember. i didn't know why, but some part of me just yearned to make [y/n] jealous. to make her wish i was giving her all of my attention instead of giving it to others. i needed her to know how i felt. how i looked at her, how i yearned for her.
what am i saying? i don't like her. at all. she's cocky and stuck up and beautiful and funny and-
fuck.
i watched as she walked around the arena, humming to herself as she adjusted the settings on her camera, not paying a lick of attention to where she was going. a couple more steps and she would-
CRASH!
"ow! fuck!"
i scoffed, walking over to where she was sat on the ground, rubbing the back of her head.
"you good there, princess? looks like you fell." i smirked.
she rolled her eyes, pulling herself up to her feet. "i'm fine."
"you sure? you took quite the fall there." i said.
she smirked. "aww, are you showing actual human empathy for once?"
i scoffed. "keep dreaming. i can't afford to lose my photographer right now. do your job." i said, walking away.
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the lights dimmed as we took the stage, the crowd's energy palpable. i stepped up to the microphone, my intense gaze sweeping over the audience. among the sea of faces, my eyes locked with hers, an unfamiliar spark igniting between the two of us.
"the sutures in my head keep getting ripped out. these open wounds are the thoughts i can't stop thinking about. digging for purpose, feelings resurface. and involuntarily my system gets nervous."
there was a crowd of people in the arena. our first sold out show ever. we just released our album Finding God Before God Finds Me a couple months ago, and for our first sold out show of the tour, i decided to add a couple songs from our very first album.
"tell me tonight that you'll be by yourself. cause something bad will happen if you are with someone else. i'm just all fucked up, and i really need your help. i really need your help."
i looked at [y/n] in the front row, snapping pictures. when she was so close to the stage, i always felt like i performed better. seeing her smile at nicholas, hearing her sing along to our songs. it gave me motivation. i closed my eyes.
"there's a lotta hollow souls out there all alone, and they're waiting for you to invite 'em back into my home. they touched and they took what was rightfully mine. now i'm the devil, and their souls just went up in price."
images of her face filled my mind as i sang. her smile, her scowl, her tears and her laughter. every part of her was gorgeous. every part of her made me fall in love deeper and deeper every day. why couldn't i admit these feelings?
"set me free, i think i'm giving up. don't wait for me, i think i've had enough. set me free, i think i'm giving up. don't wait for me, i've had enough, enough now"
right. i had bailey. my girlfriend. i wondered what she was doing right now. maybe sleeping or shopping or watching tv in our bed at home. even though i had her, part of me felt off. it didn't feel like she really loved me. everyone always tried to convince me to break up with her. but she's my girl. the love of my life, the woman i wanted to marry one day. right?
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as we got back onto the bus, i came to a realization.
one, i wasn't happy with bailey. she was toxic, manipulative, and i was pretty sure she was cheating on me.
two, i was utterly, hopelessly in love with [y/n].
i laid on my bunk, wide awake with my thoughts swarming in my mind. i was in love with her. i was in love with another woman. what the hell was wrong with me?
"there's a thousand voices in my head. i just hope it doesn't take a rope around my neck to put them all to rest." i hummed to myself, scrolling on my phone.
"noah?" [y/n]'s voice spoke from her bunk, her head peeking out of the curtain. "i thought you went for drinks with the others."
"nope." i said. "i'm not in the mood."
she raised an eyebrow. "that's weird. why?"
i shrugged. "i'm thinking."
"about?"
"none of your business."
she rolled her eyes, mumbling something under her breath before retreating back to her bunk.
it was quiet for another moment before i spoke.
"hey, [y/n]?" i said quietly, not wanting to disturb her in case she had fallen asleep.
"what?"
i bit my lip. "what do i do if i'm in love with someone.. but i'm in a relationship?"
she peeked her head out again, raising an eyebrow. "break up with the girl, duh. don't lead her on if you're not interested anymore. that's a dick move." she said. "wait, don't tell me you're breaking up with bailey?"
i shrugged again. "i dunno yet."
"jesus, finally." she said, and i frowned. "first of all, don't say that. second, i said i don't know yet. i'm thinking."
she sighed. "noah, you know she's a shit person. she literally abuses you. she's a toxic, manipulative asshole. and if you're in love with another woman who you know can give you the love that you deserve, shoot your shot. don't sit there and suffer just because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings."
i wasn't sure why, but a small bit of rage filled my body at the way she spoke about bailey. "don't talk about her like that. that's not true. she's just doing what she knows is best for me." i said, and she scoffed.
"whatever you say."
"you're just jealous." i crossed my arms.
she raised her eyebrows. "of what? cause its definitely not her behaviour. or literally any aspect of her personality or life."
i laid back down, ignoring her for the rest of the ride. i knew she was right, but i hated to admit it. i loved bailey. she was all that i had.
when we first got together, everything was great. i swore that i would marry her one day. and then she started going out more and staying out later and sometimes i didn't feel like i could trust her. but i let it slide because bringing it up would just lead to arguments. i didn't want arguments.
but as her behaviour continued and i saw my friends in happy, loving relationships, i realized it wasn't normal. being treated like this wasn't normal, and it wasn't what i wanted. i wanted to be happy. feel loved.
i wanted to be loved by [y/n].
with a sigh and a slightly heavy heart, i texted bailey a long message.
'i want to start this off by saying i know what you did. i know what you've been doing behind my back for longer than i'd like to admit. i loved you bailey, i really did. but we can't be together anymore. i want things that you can't provide me. i know you've been cheating on me, and i let it go because we all make mistakes. but this is more than a mistake. please don't try to fight this, just accept it. you would rather sleep with multiple other men than be with me, and that's okay. i can't be what you need, and you can't be what i need. we weren't made for each other. this is goodbye.'
with tears in my eyes, i put on my headphones and put my phone on silent, blasting some music as i washed away these feelings that i didn't want to hit me at this moment. i hated being vulnerable. i'd cry it out when i was alone.
i sat in my bunk for the rest of the night, trying to fall asleep but i couldn't. instead, i drew in my notebook and wrote down the occasional lyric that popped into my mind.
'i'll flip it with you and me inside.'
'heaven know's i ain't gettin' over you.'
'thought you were somebody else.'
'no way to right these wrongs, either way i'm feeling, it might just cost something in the millions. i know that i can't resist.'
fuck. this was going to be good.
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